I don’t know why I’m writing this, I don’t even expect any replies or anything like that. In fact, I don’t even think I deserve to write on here, as I know that there is hundreds of people who are in far worse situations than myself. I just think I need somewhere to get some things off of my chest, as there isn’t a single person in my life I can talk to about any of this.
I’m so, so sad. Constantly, I feel nothing but sadness. I wish I could say these were new feelings, but they’re not. I’ve been sad for so long now that it almost feels normal, and that’s what frightens me. Having to pretend to colleagues and family that I’m a happy person is so exhausting.
I can’t even tell you the exact reason I feel like this. There are a few things in my life I’m certainly unhappy with, but I don’t know whether they’re enough to warrant feeling like this all of the time.
I understand that I’m worthless and I guess I deserve to feel like this, it’s just horrible having to keep everything locked up all the time. I just hope writing on here serves as an outlet for me, being alone with my thoughts is the worst.
Apologies if any of this is muddled, I just have so much going on in my mind and obviously I’m very new about talking about feelings.
Thank you for allowing me to get my feelings out, and thank you for reading.
Never feel that you can’t come here. That is what this space was created for. Coming and venting your feelings instead of keeping it in. And it is exhausting to stay happy when you’re not. I am proud of you for keeping it up and persevering. I hope coming here helps you too.
Hi @Eth211,
Thank you for sharing and being here.
There will always be someone who seem to be in a better or in a worse situation than yours. But being aware of this doesn’t mean you don’t matter or what you’re living either. I know it can feels uncomfortable to share about intimate things and feelings, to be vulnerable in front of others. But you will always have the right to share what you want here and you won’t be judged. So when you need to share something, to get something off of your chest as you said, it matters and you’re free to do it. 
I’m sorry you’re feeling sad, and I hope things became better after you wrote this post, even just a little bit. Even if you don’t really understand the reasons behind it, the fact you’re aware of it is a first step. It may take some time to understand the “why-s”, what causes you to feel like this. Buy I’d like to underline the fact that thinking you’re worthless is probably not helpful. Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you and self-love can be a long journey. But the way you see yourself may affect your mood and increase this feeling of sadness. You are not worthless. You have worth, you are unique and you are important.
Sometimes when we feel lost or stuck in a situation we can’t understand, it can be helpful to reach out to some professionnal support, like therapy or counseling. There’s nothing wrong in doing this. So if it’s not already the case, I’d like to encourage you to consider this possibility. It can be helpful for you to share about your feelings in a safe place and get some new perspectives over it.
I’m glad you came here and allowed us to read you. We care about you.
Sending much Love your way. 