for a while now, I’ve been unhappy at the school I’m at. I’ve wanted to transfer for some time now but I’ve always pushed it to the side and called myself "ungrateful"and "selfish"for thinking about transferring, because my parents have done so much for me and I don’t wanna put them through the whole college process again by transferring. I’ve talked a little about transferring to my dad and he’s tried to convince me that I should just stick it out and finish at this school, since I have a good payment plan set up and I only have 2 more years left here, but I seriously can’t take it. I’ve tried to grow used to it and I just don’t like where I’m at. I feel so bad saying that but it’s true. I know that if I confess to both of my parents that I wanna transfer, my mom will call me “ungrateful” and “selfish” and “a brat”, etc. and she’ll make me feel even worse about thinking about transferring. I don’t want to hear her yell at me and I don’t want to put my dad through that. I feel like if I decided to transfer, it would put so much stress not only on him, but my mom and brother also. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how I would start the conversation. Every time my mom asks how my day is going or how school is going, I just wanna cry and tell her how unhappy I am here but I just tell her it’s good. My college experience has been nothing but classes from 8am-4pm then work every day after that. I don’t explore the town or hang out with friends, I never have anything exciting or interesting to tell my parents because my life is boring and I literally spend all of my time doing homework and studying or work. I’m just stressed and want to cry. I wish I could call my parents and tell them how unhappy I am and have them tell me it’s okay and that we can work through this instead of them trying to convince me I shouldn’t transfer because it’ll “screw up my education” and “mess everything up”. I don’t think thats true, I think the fact that I’m never motivated by my peers, don’t look forward to going to my classes, and am miserable at this school is screwing my education up. Nothing here makes me happy but I feel like I can’t express that to my parents because I’ll just make them more stressed and they’ll just shut what I have to say down. I don’t wanna stick it out but I feel like I’m gonna have to because I don’t want to confront my parents about this, I’m scared to do it, and I don’t know how.
It’s okay to have the thoughts that you do. University is an interesting time in life because we are essentially preparing for adulthood and trying to figure out what we want to do with our lives. I personally did not graduate in four years it took me longer to graduate due to various life circumstances. Like you I wanted to transfer and I did transfer twice because I felt unhappy and my educational needs were not being meet. It delayed and offset some things but I ultimately still graduated and still pursuing my goals. It’s okay to not like college it’s okay to not be happy with the circumstances. I get that you don’t want to upset your parents but it’s your life not theirs. I can relate to the long class days I’ve been there and I worked and paid out of pocket for university so balancing between studying, working and trying to be social was a struggle. Does your school have a health or wellness center? I ask because if they do I might suggest and only if you feel comfortable doing so talking to a counselor there. They know the campus culture and if anything can be an objective person to talk to and help you cope with your circumstances. Other than the classes, working and stress is there something specific that is upsetting you about college? You may not like me saying this but at some point you are going to have to start talking to your parents and let them know what is going on. They care about you and ultimately want to see you happy and successful. Stress to them what is going on and how it is affecting you mentally, emotionally and academically. Again, talking to a counselor can help with that even if it is going over what you might want to say. Keep hanging in there and know that you are not alone in this.