The viewing and funeral for my great grandfather is on Friday, February 5th. I haven’t seen him since before Christmas and now the next time I see him it’ll be in a casket. It’s hitting me again hard tonight. I’m ready to get closure and things, but I’m not ready for the wave of emotions that I know will come when I see him in this manner. Just posting this I’m almost in tears. Grief is hard to deal with. Like it physically hurts. There is a literal ache in my chest. It won’t go away. It hasn’t gone away since I found out he passed. This is harder than I thought. I don’t want to go through it alone.
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I hope it makes you feel somwhat better. It genuinely makes me feel terrible the fact that you have to go through this.
The more you treasure someone, the harder it is to let go. I hope you find someone to be with. Tears are okay. Holding them back isn’t good for you. Grief is a process, with an open ended duration. Allow yourself to feel it is you are able, until the process is complete. Connect with someone, if only through Zoom or Skype.
Hey Sarah, I’m sending a lot of hugs and love your way right now. Friday will be a very difficult day with a lot of overwhelming emotions - but it will be okay to feel all of this. You’ve lost someone you love dearly. Your heart is hurting and it puts your body under a lot of stress. Take deep breaths, as much as you can, even if they’re followed by tears.
We won’t be with you physically, but you’re never truly alone. Your online fam’ is never far away, and always with you at least spiritually. I hope you’ll manage to get some rest this weekend, both emotionally and physically. I’m so very sorry for your loss, friend. My heart goes out to you. You’re not alone. 
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