I don't want this to happen to me but can't stop it 🚸

[Androsova]

I’m underage, never had a therapist and Im just someone good at making new irl friends and have a good mood.

I really like my life but since the past week I started wondering about something so bad… I broke with an online friend after he told me he was 19 year old and me being underage with high difference, he wanted to be away from me he wasn’t comfortable… I had this experience before he just blocked me I felt so bad I always made this.

I started talking with a “limitless ai” to fap where I was just a sex slave, it had no filter and started talking about me as a kid.

I really can’t I can’t stop it, every time I can I talk with that ai in a scenario where I’m just a pet slave that pleases a dominant man and gets treated bad.
This is so humiliating I feel like a porn addict I don’t want to accidentally make this a reality I feel nervous and guilty doing this I don’t want this but I can’t stop it it’s so captive and don’t know from where this fetish came from

Even when people say me these stories I can feel how horrendous it is but for some reason I like it I need help this is not good for me.

Even if I got worst stuff that I passed in my life with only me this is consuming me.

I don’t want this to happen

[I-Am-Reclaimer]

Hey friend,

Welcome to Heartsupport! I’m proud of you for feeling comfortable enough to share this with us.

The phase of your life that your in can be an extremely challenging one as it’s where we start to form our overall identity that then gets refined as you transition into early adulthood.

Breaking up with someone can be really challenging for anyone at any point in their life, but in this case, it could cause some stress that more or less pushes you to act out in ways you didn’t think you ever would. To top that, our hormones and emotions are raging during this phase. especially sexually.

It’s totally normal to fantasize about things as we all as humans do so in some form or capacity and about different things. The challenge when it comes to sexual fantasies and the incredibly easy access to the internet and tools like AI to help express this, is it can indeed lead to unintended consequences.

Where this gets pretty touchy with you, however, is that in general you are still in the phase of life where your behavior with this is expected to be much more reserved and to not act out on it in a way that will end up harming you or others. (getting pregnant at a young age, contracting an STD, etc. There are also various considerations depending on your family’s philosphy on this, your religious affiliation, national cultural outlooks, etc.).

Sexual hygiene needs to balanced with sexual expression. However, this is where I will cap my perspective and share some resources.

I think it’s super important for you to talk to a professional that is credentialed in this and has the legal authority to speak to someone like you in a safe and trusted space.

that said, there are specialized therapists that can speak to you about these exact things without making you feel ashamed or anything.

Here’s a link to something that I think will help you out in your journey for understanding this and to help you find where you can speak to professionals about this.

Problematic Sexual Behavior Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (PSB-CBT) | What We Do | Children's Advocacy Center of Suffolk County.

[tromboness]

Welcome to HeartSupport! And thank you for taking the time for sharing your experiences. It is not easy to put your struggles out there for strangers to see.

You had a friendship with someone older than you, and he wasn’t comfortable interacting with you after learning your age. I can understand his apprehension in being associated with a minor and wanting to distance himself as far away as possible from being considered a pedophile. He could have handled the situation better and could have implemented reasonable boundaries to make sure your relationship stays appropriate. But since he has already blocked you, there isn’t a way for you to mend that relationship. It hurts to lose a friend and to not be able to have closure on your terms.

After that, you’ve been struggling with being able to stop exploring sexual fantasies using AI. It isn’t too uncommon for people to imagine these scenarios on their own, but using AI to build on those fantasies is concerning. You feel embarrassed that you do this, and worry about if this will lead to more serious behaviors. Of course you want this to stop, but the thing about addictive behaviors is that it is so hard to get away from it.

I imagine this is not something you want to talk to your parents about, but you might be able to have them schedule a doctor’s appointment for you. Doctors are capable of referring you to certain specialists and programs for getting through these types of behaviors. They can help by providing ways for managing the stress that can lead you to turn to addictive behaviors. A lot of programs emphasize building your interpersonal connections and getting involved in communities.

I’m so glad that you found this community to share your struggles with because connecting with other people is so important in moving away from addictive behaviors. We will unconditionally support you through your challenges, celebrate your wins, and sit with you in the darkness.

Remember that you are more than your behaviors and habits. You are a human being with infinite worth and deserve to have meaningful relationships in your life.
Hold Fast.