I’m so tired of giving in to this issue. this is about the 3rd time I’ve dealt with this feeling. I just want this feeling to go away, to feel like ill be okay with this decision i need to make. This hurts me to write this because I’ve been here for this person thick and thin but its getting to a point where i feel like im not in a healthy position to help them anymore. So whenever my friend is needing to talk to someone she texts or calls me at times where i dont want to talk. sometimes she texts me to call her when its an emergency… just the other day she texted me to call her cause she wasnt doing well because of a current issue etc… I dont know what to do anymore i want to be safe for my health and hers. I wrote out something i want to send her but at the same time i dont want to make things worse. Is it worth ruining a friendship or is it worth making my mental state go worse? i dont know what to do . any advise is appreciated .
Have you talk to her that you need time by yourself to get better?
no i havent and im affraid to
It’s ok to be afraid anyone in your position would be but sometimes you just have to blurt it out. Your only gonna fell worse the longer you wait.
A good friend will understand if you need some time for yourself.
There’s nothing wrong with that to have time to take care yourself.
It’s important to self-care before, putting others first.
I have been doing that before and…My mental health was not in the best place for awhile.
Yes, it hurts that you been there for this person where you have been helping her but, if your health is getting worse than…It won’t be healthy in the long run.
From my recent experience, I have tired to help a person but, it eventually lead where I slowly feel my mental health was getting negative from sensing theirs from been empathy (Feeling someone’s emotions that are not yours)
I don’t think, that it will ruin a friendship if you know how’s this person well (Well…The type of person) than, I think, they will understands what are you feeling. Some will understand, some others…Sadly don’t.
I have been there for awhile.
It’s…not worth making your mental state go worse.
I suggest if you want keep it safe and healthy balance…:
Know your limits:
There’s times that you can help someone but, you need remember to take care yourself too.
Otherwise, your mental health will drain later on in long run. It is okay to take break to take care yourself.
you have the right to have your own spare time as a person.
This is what I didn’t do in my situation BUT…I suggest to talk to her because, maybe, she’s unaware that your mental health was going worse.
That’s okay of being afraid to talk about this to them from either worry of ruining a friendship or making it worse.
If…it is a true friend, they will be willing to listen and understanding it.
Hope that things gets better soon, sending hugs
It’s ok you’ll be just fine.
Part of being a good friend to someone is knowing if its one-sided, unfortunately you can’t save the world all by yourself. You have to set boundaries and make sure that your friend knows that you have your own issues too, and that you can’t fix all of their problems if they’re not willing to put in an equal amount of work. You have to take care of yourself first and foremost, and if someone else doesn’t understand that, then it’s not fair for you to expect yourself to put your own mental health aside for theirs.
Update: SO i sent the message lastnight and she responded to as " I guess i wont call you, ill just text you."