I feel alone

HeartSupport Support
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Hey everyone,

I’m at a huge block in my life and I can’t seem to get over this deep of a depression.
I’ve never been this depressed in my life I feel numb, nothing can make me happy anymore and I feel so lost and alone even though I have family and friends.
I just can’t feel that void that lives in me and I just think I’m better off dead.

I just got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship in February, that basically crushed my whole soul and heart.
I loved her more than anything in the world, she was basically perfect in my eyes, we did everything together and loved just about all the same stuff.
We talked about marriage and having a family and I was going to propose this year but she fell out of love with me after so long and I know I was hard to deal with but it doesn’t make it any easier on me when she moved on so fast like I never really mattered at all.
Just hearing those words she’ll never see a future with me and that she doesn’t love me anymore made me feel like the most worthless person on earth and that I don’t deserve love.
But ever since she left, everything came unhinged.
I can’t find a job to pay my bills, I don’t have a car or license so I can’t go anywhere without asking for rides, my career got put on hold now it’s up in the air, I’ve been through multiple suicide attempts.
I just can’t get out of that negative mind set that nothing will get better, no one wants me here and I’m unloveable.
I feel like a burden on everyone life and I haven’t done much with my life at all, I haven’t been able to keep a steady job, I feel lazy and I’m just at the point where everyone sees me as such a lazy person that won’t do anything for themselves people have given up on me until I prove them wrong but it’s hard when you’re fighting suicidal depression and want to achieve things on your own.
I’m at a really bug blinding spot in my life I’m having super hard troubles to get out of, I just want to be held again and feel safe but I don’t have that in my life anymore.
I break down almost everyday because I feel like no one is listening or caring about what I’m saying I feel lost, confused and stuck in a box that I can’t get out of and I just want to finally give up on life because I can’t take it anymore.

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You’re grieving a loss. It’s as crushing as if she’d died, only in a way it’s worse because she chose to leave and is still living somewhere else. It sucks, and there’s no getting around that. Allow yourself to grieve your girlfriend as long as you need.

There’s a difference between not being able to keep a steady job and being lazy. If you were lazy, you wouldn’t be trying to work. The way I see it, unsteady work is you continuing to hustle through a stretch of bad luck. So keep on hustling.

There was a time my career felt dead ended and my relationship of 5 years had just ended. I wish I could write the magical guide for how to believe in yourself again, but for me it was a really lucky career break, a break that on paper I shouldn’t have caught. A couple things to keep in mind: if you’re religious, remember that the Lord will provide. It may not be wealth and love, but as long as you’re alive, healthy, and able to eat, drink, and keep a roof over your head, the Lord is providing, and He will continue to provide more as you trust in Him more. If you’re not religious, remember that as long as you’re alive, healthy, and able to eat, drink, and keep a roof over your head, you have the resources to keep going. The world keeps spinning, and you can either fight it or go with it. If fighting it isn’t working, let go and go with it. WAY easier said than done I know, but who knows what you’ll find downstream? Hang on man.

In the meantime, enjoy this video and read the captions carefully. You will find love again, all in due time, when you least expect it.