I always question my purpose here and it’s pointless we’re all gonna die someday and honestly i wanna Just get it over with I’m scared that I’ll regret it I’ve already written notes just in case and I just don’t even know what to do or why and throughout my whole childhood life just ultimately fucked me
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I’m sorry you are dealing with this. There are times I asked myself “Do I have a purpose? Why am I here? What am I suppose to do?” It’s okay to ask those questions because we are humans. We have curiosity. At the moment you are in, you believe you have no meaning in this life or anyone, but that’s not true. You do have meaning. Don’t let lies get to you. I know how it feels to be unappreciated, not care for, and I wish death can take me away, but I got to keep fighting. You should fight too. Thank you for sharing. I hope you are hanging on. God bless. Stay strong.
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Thank you for going out of your way to reach out
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hey @Dying_hooman :
Just want to start off by saying you are not alone , ive 100% had felt what you’ve felt. I’ve questioned my purpose, and my worth. Back in may of 2018 was probably the worst one i have had battling mental health and my struggles. In May of 2018 , i had a terrible week , ive had nightmares about my own struggles feeling like ill be abandoned , or if i would just be “there”, left alone in my dreams if that makes sense. but all the dreams after that had left me to attempt to hang my self by using a belt. But i luckily had stopped myself from going further. I had appologized for being weak , feeling like i didnt belong because of how i was created/made by god. Luckily i had this community to know that i was NOT alone . They even celebrated with me being clean of self harm for 1 year. A year later (in 2019) im almost 2 years clean.
You have a purpose to be here because you were made to be you, to be unique, to be different we all may die sometime but to be honest with you, your life is precious and we want you to have a future, we want to see you have a family, friend and a job you love to go to . This pain you have right now is only temporary not permanent. What’s permanent is you having a healthy life style, you making healthy life choices . What’s not healthy is you ending your life because you have no purpose. The truth is you do have a purpose, you DO have breath in your lungs and that’s what makes YOU human. By the way your Child hood has not f’ed you. We all struggle , we all have bad days but that doesn’t lead you to a bad place that you always think about when your older because when you do think that you say “ I wish I done that,” “I wish I done this,” and that’s going to drag you down even more because you regret the choice you’ve made . But at the end now where you are , don’t think “ oh I’m ______ because I didn’t do this because I am doomed.” Put it this way “ oh this happened , I’ll fix that so I can be a healthier version then I was in the past.” Your past is your past but your last is not your future . Friend you are good enough and you are worth it . Hold fast friend!
-Ashley
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Hi @Dying_hooman, a bit of an odd take:
I personally don’t think life has purpose. But, I think that it is kind of beautiful that way. Because, if purpose is truly man-made, then we can choose our own purpose. I suppose life is about finding that purpose. It is hard, but when you finally decide on it, it will be so much more rewarding.
Death is what gives life meaning. Death is what gives life urgency.
Sure, we are all going to die, so what the hell, might as well try to enjoy it.
Either way, I understand how scary those thoughts may be. I really hope you are feeling better, and please do consider contacting a professional! It is a struggle, existence, but it can be a well worth one. And, you are not alone.
I will keep you in my thoughts, I truly hope you feel better.