I feel like i cant forgive anyone

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I can’t even get to see my self post here . i dont know what to feel besides sad and depressed and even frustrated at what happened today . I felt like i can finally talk to someone one on one to let them know what the heck is happening (specifically some of what was posted on here).
My dad was brought into the room and i was told to leave the room so all they can do is talk about me about whats best for me etc and i believe they brought up the idea of me and my dads gf butting heads (not sure i didnt hear the full thing) . I just feel like ive been betrayed in trust. But then i was suggested to go make friends to have people around my age ? like um excuse me , no thank you. I know what i want for myself . if i want to make friends thats my decision. Not theirs. My dad needed my email to give to my therapist but i didnt give it to him because i dont want to be forced into this group i dont want to deal with this group . I dont want to. i will tell her in 2 weeks i am saying no to the group. After we left i just felt like i wanted to isolate from my family because of how i feel. When i got home i got in a small argument with my dad about this …
After feeling better i just started to feel “depressed” again. I’m probably feeling shellfish about this but who the hell can i trust now? no one? I just dont know what to do now . who is in the right and who is in the wrong. I just feel like im in the middle of this battle of who knows what… I just wish someone would listen for once and not involve my parents in this.

I dont know what the point of this meeting with her was. I was able to bring up the girlfriend butting head thing but i had no strength to bring up my communication issue i have when it comes to speaking up towards his girlfriend and him.
A little back story on the communication has dealt with previous incidents where i couldn’t stand up for my self in front of my grandmother cause i was afraid of what i would of been told . My grandmother who’s still alive is/wasnt a healthy person for me. All because of that i am afraid what my dad will say to me or what my dads girlfriend will say to me . I dont want to feel this pain again. I dont want isolation to happen . I just dont know if i can forgive . I dont know what to do . i just feel a little sad , depressed , and numb (as in feeling ).
Have a good day , thanks for reading.!

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The best thing I can say is they care about you and are trying their best, it might not be much, it might not be good, but it sounds like they are trying.

The issue is the only person making decisions for you, is you, and they should respect that you know what you want and that you know what you dont want. I do this thing when parents dont trust their kids, I poke them until they tell me to stop and I say “you dont think your child is smart enough to say the same thing?” Its a great analogy and feel free to use it

However, maybe you should give it a try, it sounds like you’ve done a lot and you’re back to square one, we might not like different, but sometimes different is good (insert tesla truck meme here)

Good luck, I hope this helps

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I love you Ashley. Since I talk to you privately and in the discord #realtalk sections I’m not going to repeat myself here. But I love you. I see you struggling a lot and I care about you. There’s a whole lot of stuff that I know you struggle with within your family and a whole lot of anger that is always being built up.

I went through a lot of that when I was your age and battled a lot of that anger and frustration. I surely get it. You struggle a lot with a lot of things I did too. Between all the frustration and anger it’s hard to have a better attitude or know how to respond and react. I often lashed out. I see you friend. And I will always be open and honest with you and try to help and guide you the best I can.

Your feelings are valid. Communication is hard. Trying to change attitude is hard. But I believe in you and know that you can get through all of this. You have a lot of people that love you and want to help.

Thinking about you.