I feel like I'm not far enough from my past

Years ago when I was a kid, I was positive and happy as all get out. At some point life hit me and sent my into a cynical spiral, and I wasn’t even out of elementary school. Over the years that sunk in, I began noticing everything bad, instead of being positive, I saw my family wearing me down for not meeting their expectations. Only within the past year I’ve started struggling to get out of that hole. I know I’ve made progress into being less toxic, more feeling, expressive, and caring again, but I can’t help but look back at my life and feel as if my change is nothing in comparison to what I was. I’ve been told by friends and my fiance that change is seen better from a long distance or from the people around you. I believe them, and I try to keep going without thinking about, but I can’t help it. Every time I look back, I get more and more depressed, and I am scared that depression is fogging my progress to being a better me. In short, my past feels like a towering volcano covering my progress with its shadow and a giant, suffocating blanket of ash.



Hello. Nice to meet you. Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to the community. This is something everyone relates to. We think about our past events, mistakes, and we feel guilt and shame. It’s normal because we’re humans. I am still struggling. I am not going to lie to you to forget about it and get over it. It will not help. What I can say don’t let the past control you. You are in the present, and see the present as a gift. You are a gift. You are loved. No matter what you done in life, it is forgiven. I encourage you to forgive yourself. I hope you are having a restful night. God bless you.

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