I really don’t know how to start.
I suffer with self hatred, low esteem, i keep comparing myself to others like my grandparents used to, i give u too fast, i have problems with speaking properly, i talk too fast and all in all i’m terrible human being who should take a plant everywhere i go to replace the oxigen i waste. I just got in 3 year middle school, where I’m studying how to become a pastry cook.
I’m terrible at it, at everything we do there. I’m still surprised they didn’t kick me out the moment i came. I didn’t even want to go to that school, but i had no other choice because I’m a goddamn idiot that couldn’t keep up good grades and kept failing in math classes. I wanted to be a Photographer or Actor, but that idea just didn’t work out. Nobody believed in me, that i can be something. My grandpa kept telling me I’m just lazy that it’s my fault that i won’t be a doctor. My grandma loves making fun of me that I’m goddamned pastry cook and that there’s no way i can make it. My dad doesn’t give a single f about me or my brother from the day my mom divorced him and my mom keeps telling me she had it the same way.
Now i just don’t believe in myself, i want to give up so badly. I’m not worth working with or being friends with. I feel terrible because everywhere i go, whatever i do, something is wrong and it’s my fault.
you got no reason to hate yourself, you are a wonderful person for trying to help and trying, what casey says is right, no one knows himself well, sorry for that uselss comment, i just really wanna help, and remember that every person is an entire world… its sad to hear that no one is beliving in you, and it sucks that it happens, dont listen, you got this! we believe in you
I really didn’t know how to reply to this because I kinda feel like this at the moment… I think this is the first time I’ve ever looked at a post and had just a complete mental block. However, I think that by sharing my situation with you, you might feel less alone. Sure I have people that believe in me… They’re on the other side of the world, but they’re still there. I’m just too lazy to pursue the career I want because my mental health keeps going up and down… My family are abusive and don’t really encourage me at all. Every time things start to go well, it all just collapses just days later and I think… what’s the point? I’m just going to keep failing…
I managed to pick myself up a little with the help of this community - I hope that we can all speak into your life they way they spoke into mine… You’re loved.
I’m sorry you feel like giving up. You’re not an idiot and you’re not worthless. But you are surrounded by people who aren’t supportive and don’t give you the opportunity to believe in yourself. You deserve to be shown that you are loved and cared for. You have worth and it goes beyond what others might think of you. Building self-confidence is a long process, but you can learn it progressively. You matter. I’m proud of you for being here despite these obstacles. We believe in you.
I am sorry that you are experiencing life this way currently. Know that you are loved. My hope is that our responses on this forum will help you to move onwards. I encourage you to surround yourself with positive people that help you in believing in yourself and keep on doing what you love doing.