Its me again up in the morning in a house that’s falling apart and really bad online school set up where it takes me forver to finish work. Good stuff happens but now those things are not helping like they once did. I’m told by my family to be more grateful but I still feel horrible. the good news i may move soon where we will have a new house and ill be in a new school and have new friends but I’m not excited for that anymore. I don’t know why but I’m starting to feel numb. And my friends either are manipulative, never talk to me about my problems or on the internet. I feel sick of them (not the internet friends though). And if they knew I felt that way I doubt they would help. They say they’ve changed but I can’t tell. It’s now like I can barely have my own thoughts now. And the worst part is I rarely see them anymore so the little sliver of friendship I have left is deteriorating. And if I vent to them they never respond or get mad at me about it. I just want to scream and yell at them but i can’t even tell if I’m in the right now. I’m stuck. I’m alone. I’m feeling numb and I’m even starting to feel comfortable in it in which is awful. I’m scared. I don’t want to die but this thought of ending my life make it seems like it will get better. Please help me. This just feels like a black hole I’ll never get out of
hello… i’m really sorry to hear that and i don’t know what to say about it, but, i believe that your situation will get better, once you wait, imo friends that don’t care about their friends aren’t friends at all, so try to speak about it with your internet friends… and you’re never alone, we are here for you
Problem is you need a place to hash out your feelings and have somebody listen. This can be a good place to start.
I also suggest to obtain a therapist. A lot of people are hestitiant about that, but Having someone willing to listen to you and maybe provide a perspective that you’ve overlook when it comes to coping or solving a problem or giving you another option to add to the options about anything in life. Well. It is actually helpful.
A lot of times family/friends is not a good option for this because they’re humans and people where it isn’t their job to listen to you like to add their “baggage” to their advice where professional help are trained to let such “baggage go.” In other words a therapist is a more appealing option for this because they focus on you, and it is their job to understand you.