I feel so alone and down

the title sums it up. i feel so extremely alone and far away from everyone. i feel like shit all the time and it’s getting hard to deal with. it’s as if I’m slowly falling apart again with nowhere to turn to and i really don’t know how much more i can take of this, before i reach a breaking point.

i think i had an episode of sorts yesterday, because it was really hard to control myself and not do something I’d regret later on. i was so close to relapsing, but i managed to talk to a friend and by the end of it i was just sad instead of whatever i was feeling before that.

i really hope this goes away soon, i don’t know how much more i can handle.

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Hi HeresA.Gun.KillMePlease
Yesterday must have been so very hard for you but you have managed to stay strong and reached out for help. You have won this battle and that is something remarkable. I am glad that a friend helped you stay safe. You did the right thing by reaching out to them. You have really grown. :wink: Have you been talking about the way you feel with someone except for your friend? A therapist, a school councelor or your parents maybe? Someone you trust. Maybe even your favourite teacher. They might help you get the help you need and look out for you. It is also really great that you have wrote and posted this. Reaching out for help and support here. We will try to do our best to support you as best as we can but I think you should reach out for help. You are not alone in this ok. There are people who will help you and the more there is the better. I hope things will get better for you soon :wink:.

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Dear @HeresA.Gun.KillMePlease,

I’m so very sorry that you have been feeling so down lately. It is so hard when it feels like we are just waiting for our next breakdown to happen, as if we were completely helpless while being punched by life over and over. You look around you and want to ask for help but everything and everyone feels so distant, as if you were part of a different reality…

Yesterday you have proved to yourself that you are not that powerless right now, even if the energy it costs you is incredibly high. You didn’t relapse. You reached out. You thrived, even the outcome may not has been as comforting as you could have expected.

Your mind is giving you a hard time and your heart is hurting for some reason. It is okay to have times when we are just depressed, feeling low and sad. It is especially during those times that we need to double up our personal self-care and grounding routines. What are the commitments you can push away for now? What are the things you could do or increase to take care of yourself? Let’s try adjust that balance for the time needed. When it’s raining outside, you take a coat or even an umbrella. It is the same here - setting up circumstances to keep you safe and to soothe yourself is essential. It’s not selfish. It’s not shameful. It’s just what we all need to do sometimes.

Make sure to take it easy and to be gentle with yourself in times to come. You are not wrong for feeling and you are not failing because of “negative” emotions. This is not a setback. You are not alone. You will feel whole again. :hrtlegolove:

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Here is a song that makes me feel no longer empty. It helped my sister when she was suffering from depression. I hope it helps you too.

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hi!! thank you so much for your words. wish i could quote the questions I’m replying to but it’s not letting me do that right now :[

i haven’t been able to talk to anyone else about it. i’m not actually seeing a therapist right now, because the last ones i had i really didn’t get along with and we’re slowly out of options because there’s only so many that are available around here. i don’t go to school as of right now and i don’t think i will go back any time soon. and i’m afraid i can’t really talk to my parents about it, since a lot of the factors that are playing into my current mood are caused by some of their actions. it’s complicated lmao

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and i’m afraid i can’t really talk to my parents about it, since a lot of the factors that are playing into my current mood are caused by some of their actions.

I’d like to invite you to share those here, if you’re okay with it of course. If you don’t have any real space to talk about the things that affect you, here is always a safe one.

You’re loved. :hrtlegolove:

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