I really dont uderstand anything now. If someone have readed my post, know that I was in a bad moment with one of my classmates that was ignoring me. Well today she have write me like it nothing have happened and I have tell her, to please dont talk to me anymore(for the first time I put myself first) and then she get angry and say that I wasnt talking to her either and that I had a problem with her I should have tell her and she have said that she wont talk to me anymore now.
Now I really dont understand, I really have though that she was ignoring me and she have said things that have hurt me.
Thank you for sharing your heart here. It sounds like you perceived one thing about a situation and now someone is telling you that something else is true. it’s so confusing when your feelings and thoughts don’t match up with what people are saying. it makes you question what reality even is anymore? Whatever your friends reason for ignoring you was, it still hurts to feel ignored, especially now when you already are feeling so down. It feels like this person ignoring you just reinforces all of the negative thoughts you have about yourself.
I’m sorry this is happening to you right now, and I want you to know you are not impossible to like as a friend or a person. You simply want to be loved and cared for and you deserve to feel those things. It sounds like you stood up for yourself and that is awesome! It’s important to say what you need and to be honest.
This community is here for you. Sending love and hope that today is better than yesterday.
Hi @Maisnow - I’m so sorry - it sounds like a confusing and upsetting situation for sure. Relationships are tough so please forgive and know that it’s normal to have problems and misunderstandings in relationships.
If you think this is someone you’d like to keep as a friend, maybe ask her if you two can start again and just work on communicating better if one of you thinks you’re ignoring the other one. If you think this is someone who is probably not good to have as a friend, well then maybe this is a good thing?
Keep trying at it. Don’t give up on yourself and feel like you are impossible. It can be really awkward to try and smooth things over with a friend, but you can learn a lot by trying and grow a lot too.
Yeah, the sad thing is that I have understood that she really doesnt care about me because maybe if she had cared at one point she would understand.
So if one day she decided she want to start again to talk to me and to speak why she done what she have done, I will be there for listening.Even if that doesnt happen or if that happen at some point (I dont think it will happen) now I need to live myself at the best I can.
In really even after all the things that have happened between us, I would still wanted to become friends again but now that is not my choice to make.
I dont know if all the bad thing I have been feeling was real or not, but I have been feeling so bad for each other not talking and I knew I couldnt talk to her with those though even if they are real or not.
I dont know what happen, it will be what it has to be, time will see.
For now I feel better, I needed to say what I was thinking and being honest and a little sad at the same time how things ended.
I dont know what really happened those month that we wasnt talking to each other or if I was right or not. I only now that I have been crying and feeling so bad at that time. And I dont know what will happen between us but that wont be a choice I have to make.
Thanks for reading and for asking for my well being
It sounds like you’ve developed a paranoia that if people don’t talk to you any day, then they are ignoring you. That isn’t necessarily so and usually isn’t.
I cant really say that you are wrong because sometimes I know that I have paranoia and because of those paranoia I had make some mistakes. I wont denied because is a part that I have to improve.
But what I really know is that for two month, I had tried to talk to her in class and what was her answer? Silence and not answer, like If I wasnt exist and that hurt me.
Maybe I shouldnt had said “please, dont speak to me anymore” maybe. But I really feel so bad about her not saying a word to me or act if like I wasnt there.
Unfortunately there are things you can’t control, especially others behavior. Sometimes it’s disappointing. Because we expect more, because we care a lot or because we value certain relationships. You have the absolute right to feel how you feel. And you did the right thing by being honest with her. Sounds that now it’s on her. Because she kinda decided for both of you when to talk/when to stop talking/what is a valid reason for that or not… But relationships, friendships, can’t function if it only goes in one way, if there’s a lack of reciprocity.
If some space and time is needed… it’s okay. Hopefully it will be for the best. For both of you. Try not to second guess too much. To dive into “maybe I should have…” or not. You didn’t do anything wrong at this point.
Through all of this, you are loved.
Just wanted to send you this reminder today.
Well there are times that I dont really feel like a good friend at all because last year( in early 2019) I was the one that started to ignoring her, I dont remember why but I still havent forgive myself for that ,even that she said that we were okay (middle 2019) but I still couldnt forgive myself, not after learning that I had make her suffer and there are times that I really feel horrible. And maybe I deserve that she was ignoring me for I dont know what reason, you know, Karma.
This days there are times when I feel like I shouldnt have said “please dont talk to me, anymore” because I fear that maybe I have hurt her and I dont want to her being bad for that. Maybe I should have said that “I need time”, even that in the last message I wrote her this: " If you dont want to talk to me anymore, fine. Good luck with everything. The thing is that I need time"
But yeah, I think that we need space at least I feel like that because even that I will forgive her, I dont know if someday I will be ready to talk to her face to face, at least for now.
And yeah, in my opinion, if we start talking or not, if we become friends or not, wont be my decision to make, now is her decision.
Sadly you are right, even if I wish with all my heart, I cant control what other are thinking or what they do and I cant know what will be their answer.
Thanks really for your answer and for reading:blush:
Sorry it was my mistake of not putting that we were like this for two month.
I dont think that she is a bad friend, she is amaizing but she make mistakes like others and I cant say that she is bad for what she did because in early 2019 I did almost the same and we werent talking for some month because it was my fault and I still cant forgive myself. So I havent been a good friend either.
and for answering.