I feel so stupid and disgusting now

I find food disgusting now. After every time I eat I find myself locked in the bathroom making myself throw up. I’ve never done this before, I don’t know why I’m doing this now. Maybe it’s because I see all my friends losing weight and I’m just only losing a pound or two. I look at food and I only think about how much weight I will gain from this. Every time I weigh myself I don’t look at the weight I’m losing but the weight that I’m not losing. But most importantly I feel stupid because I don’t like the person I’m turning into. I’ve had a rough season this year. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like dying.


@Riversong08 ,
you are not alone in this. i somewhat struggle with my weight to . its hard for me to even gain weight. ive had people tell me i need to gain weight and it hurts me. by the way you are not stupid . you are struggling and we will be here to guide you through. Also,there was this time in 6th grade i was in my history class watching a movie and this girl who was a grade above of me watched me accidently break a desk (at the time i was maybe between 90-100 pounds) and she called me fat, my freshman year of highschool because of my depression, i stopped eating so much. to this day im only about 105 pounds.

remember to hold fast and you’re worth it!

“KNOWLEDGE of what you are putting in your body is a KEY to a health lifestyle. NOT eating AT ALL does more damage to you than good. Don’t let ANYONE dictate how you should look or think about yourself! No one is perfect. You DONT have to be perfect. It’s OK NOT TO BE PERFECT.”

Im sorry you are going through this Riversong. I hope you find some guidance and get better.

I’m 15st 7lb (no idea how much this in kg!). My ideal weight is probably about 12st 7lb, but I struggle getting that far, due to depression and the associated lack of exercise. Sometimes keeping your diet the same - providing it is healthy - and just exercising and not snacking - can make a big difference.

Also, remember your friends accept you for who you are and no one is totally happy with how they look all the time, or even most of the time!

Hey there @Riversong08,
Sending big hugs! Food is tough especially in a society that tells us we need to be a certain size to be healthy….or worse, beautiful.

Let me tell you a bit about me….I am Beth. I have a metabolic disorder and have had it since I was about 8 years old. All through high school I struggled with depression, anxiety, self harm, and eating because the world’s standards state you have to be under a certain weight blah blah blah to be beautiful and as a woman you should strive for that….but that…that is incorrect! You are beautiful in some way, shape, or form without meeting society’s standards. Even if you struggle to lose weight, it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you! For me, I struggle SO HARD to lose weight because my body is different and metabolizes food differently. It sucks.
Sweet friend, you are not disgusting. You are not the number on the scale. You are you and there is only one you. It may be hard being different from your friends but that doesn’t mean you’re any less worthy of love, friendship, care, or being called beautiful. I’m sure you’ve got some skills or talents that make you amazing.

We’re behind you here dear. You are loved and accepted just as you are here. We don’t have to see you to tell you that you’re beautiful.
You got this! <3

Riversong, I’ve been feeling exactly what you are saying at MULTIPLE times in my life. I grew up in my younger years (birth to 12-13) being VERY skinny and healthy and active. My parents got divorced and I turned to food at such a young age that I didn’t realize the damaging habits I was creating. I got picked on in school for being overweight, I struggled with relationships because I felt like I was undeserving of them. I wasn’t the popular attractive guy that girls wanted to date, or so I thought. The same struggles have been off an on for majority of my life.

Fast forward, I am still significantly overweight, I am still struggling, but I’m fixing it slowly. I am deserving of love and have great support systems that aren’t blood relations to me. I have a close group of people who love me for me, and not for what I am or am not. I am able to love myself, regardless if I’m not in the place I want to be physically. No one but me will ever be able to control my happiness, and the same is for you.

If you ever need someone to talk to, please come find me on Discord or here and shoot me DM’s. I know that it’s a very hard thing to deal with, but it DOES NOT define you.

Actually you should be only losing a pound or two per week in all honesty. Not eating is bad. If you’re worried about what you eat then you should research a healthy diet that won’t only help you lose weight. It is also safe to be on in the long run that allows you cheat days.

I am sorry that this is happening to you. I wish you didn’t see yourself in this light. I hope things get better for you.