I feel that i have become the negative one and the

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I feel that I have become the Negative One and there’s no way back to whoI used to be

Hi @HeartSupport_Fans,

I totally could relate to your statement a lot. There was an event in my life that I become a negative person. I feel like you can’t be the negative one forever. Sometimes you need to remain positive even if life gets difficult. There is a way to become your old self but it takes time to heal.

Why did you feel that your a “Negative One”? I just wanted to know how I can help you from there.

@@HeartSupport
I’ve not been properly happy since I split up with who seemed to be my “perfect” woman, just over 10 years ago.
Since then I’ve struggled to be positive about anything.
I’ve had other relationships, including one that was abusive, since then but they’ve all broken down and I’ve been overlooked for someone else.
I repeatedly dream of stabbing the man that she left me for.
Any happiness I get is always short lived or I’m wearing a “mask” to smile and please other people or set their mind at ease that I’m ok.
I’m just wallowing in a pit of my own self pity, my self care has gone out the window and I’m simply existing and not living.
Thank you.

That’s been tough for you after breaking up with someone. You mentioned ex-partner being abusive. I give you a virtual hug. When I see someone is breaking down, I try to comfort & hug them. No one deserved to be disrespected in a relationship. Break-ups are difficult to moved on, just take your time to heal.

You went through multiple relationships. I’m just curious. Why are you rushing to be in a relationship? You mentioned that your ex suffers with mental health issues. Are you taking time to take care of yourself? Do you know who you are as a person? You feel lost after a break-up. Sometimes it’s okay to stay single for a while until you feel ready. In a relationship, people tend to change their personality & interests. You shouldn’t let your partner control as a person.

I feel everyone can relate the mask when smiling. That’s me all the time with my job. You don’t need to please others if you don’t want to. I’m not forcing you to smile if you don’t want to. People have good & bad days. Just remembered to not let others change your personality. I believed in the future you will find the one to be with the rest of your life. Just focus on figuring who you were before being in a relationship. If you don’t know, what traits make you unique from others? What is your special talent? What do you like or dislike? Just remember to take care of yourself.

If you ever back in a relationship, I recommend to set some boundaries with your new partner. You do loved your partner, but you need some alone time and hang out with your friends. You have a life outside from your partner. Let me know if you need help! Just tell I misunderstood your post.

@HeartSupport The abusive relationship was thankfully only around four months before I escaped.
There was never any physical harm but I was threatened to be kicked down the stairs, nearly elbowed me in the face and the mental side of things, she just took over.
Telling me I didn’t need medication and that she would help me through.
I didn’t know until later that she was a former IV heroin user; I had an HIV test after she left, just to be sure I was clear.
I’m the guy that has had four women in my life go off with other men in the space of 7-8 years.
I’ve been single since 2019 hoping to work on myself but I feel so incomplete without someone in my life; I’m a very emotional, affectionate and loving person underneath the facade of being what some would call “alternative” due to my obsession with black clothing, long beard, metal-loving, pirate obsessed, tattooed and pierced idiot.
I have no idea who I am any more; I used to be so confident and outgoing but now I’m a million miles away from that.
I have MH issues being bipolar, Chronic anxiety and often foggy-brained.
I’ve also been physically disabled since I was three years old with a chronic pain syndrome in my knees and lower spine.
I take a lot of medication as I’m in pain constantly, 24/7 which interferes with my entire life and ability to do things; I get around my house using crutches but if I do have to go out, I have to use my wheelchair which seems to be very off-putting to women.
Sorry, I’ve rambled a bit.
Thank you for your words and support.