From nie_wiem._.: For the past few moths my 2 friends have been sucesful and i am just stuck at the bottom. I am too jealous and i cant stand it anymore. why can’t i be like them. why do i have to be so uselees. i am a failure
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Hello nie_wiem
It is hard to reply with great detail when missing the full context of the situation. Since I don’t have a lot of context I would just have some questions. What is it that makes you feel this way? Why do you feel that you are a failure? What would success for you look like?
I do not believe you are a failure. Just have to find your own idea of success, the things you like, and chase them. I do not believe that comparing ourselves to others helps, but just comparing our self from yesterday, to our self from today. Growing ourselves, and trying our best. Is really all we can try to do.
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Hello nie_wiem,
Thank you for reaching out. I am sorry to hear that you feel this way. I can understand the jealousy and how seeing your friends be successful in areas you want to attain as well can be a bit discouraging. I too use to struggle with outward comparison with my social circle and I found it to be very demoralizing and having negative effects on my self-esteem. I found it helpful once I realized and understood within myself that every person’s life plays out differently. Everyone achieves different milestones and has different experiences at different times - some sooner or later than others. Once I gave myself some self-compassion to understand that just because I haven’t achieved my goals yet, does not mean that I am failure. As long as we are working towards our goals and giving it our best, then one day in time, we can achieve them. I encourage you to lift your head up and to keep trying. Failure isn’t taking longer than others to succeed, it’s giving up.
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Hey there!
It can be really tough to feel like everyone is ahead of you and moving forward without you. I’ve been there, and it sucks. I always try to remind myself that I have a unique personality, set of skills, and purpose in this life. I want you to know that I hear you and that I am here for you. You bring a uniqueness that no one can replicate. It is normal to compare ourselves to others sometimes, but something I have found to be helpful for me is to turn my feelings of jealousy into motivation. Whenever I feel myself wanting someone else’s life, I use it as motivation to make advances in my own life. I want to encourage you to have faith in your journey and path and to know that everyone reaches milestones at their own pace. There’s no rush! Use your friend’s success as inspiration for your own. But if these friends are a trigger for negative feelings, maybe it is best to distance yourself a little.
You matter. You are not a failure. Trust that good things are coming your way and know that we are always here to support you in any way we can <3