I get so overwhelmed and being a musician is finan

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I get so overwhelmed and being a musician is, financially and among many other things, a dumb thing to do. And lately I don’t believe I’ll ever get anywhere and that I’m wasting my time for nothing. I usually take a break. Hard restart. Get back to the basics. And, yes, being grateful is the first thing I do. Recount all the good things, briefly remember harder times and overcoming them. It’s way better than I make it out to be and I don’t want to be self centered. It makes for a very miserable life. Thank you for sharing! I appreciate it when people are honest about their lives!

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So hard to feel like you’re investing yourself, and things are futile. It’s hard to feel like you pour your heart out into your art, and you end up vulnerable…and disappointed. You have to be so raw, but then it’s like you open yourself up to being hurt even more. But you can’t make art without passion and truth…so you have to…but then when it doesn’t pan out the way you dreamed or desired or expected, it just feels like a big slap in the face. A voice that echoes with the wounds of your past: you’re not good enough, you’re not cut out for this, no one will care anyways. You feel like you waste your time. And then…there it is…the greatest fear of all…that in the end, you didn’t really matter. Your voice, your art…it’s all vapor. Meaningless.

What a tragic message to internalize as an artist.

And what a lie!

When we measure the meaningfulness by the number of views we have, we diminish the LIFE we live, and the lives we touch in our process.

I used to be in a band (never toured), and I look back on those days, and they are some of my favorite memories. The camaraderie, the joy of being a part of something, the process of creation, the love of music, the thrill of performing…it was family. Music makes family.

And so yeah, we never got to live out our dreams, but the process of playing and creating was actually the magic of the dream anyways. I now work with tons of touring artists, and it’s easy to lose that magic, even when the “dream” is reality.

And in that sense, the meaning isn’t in the audience, it’s in the process.

What you’re doing ACTUALLY MATTERS. Honest art MATTERS. You live an inspiring life by CHOOSING to create.

Thank you for choosing to continue writing and performing and engaging with it all. I am inspired by your perseverance. It is beautiful.

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Thank you for being so honest! As a fellow musician i just want to say I FEEL YOU. You are not alone in this. It can be infinitely draining to pour every ounce of your heart and soul, your blood, sweat, and tears into a project and feel like the returns are not what you envision. I can even take that personally sometimes, like people don’t see the value in what I hold as one of the most valuable things in my life. Those seasons of doubting, and that pain that comes with those doubts is so difficult, and i fully empathize with you.

But just like you said- being grateful is an amazing first step. Yes, things may not be where you want them to be right now, but you’ve been gifted a position in life where you are able to create beauty and share that with the world (whether they understand it yet or not). You’ve practiced and honed your craft so that you can transition the thoughts in your head to real, live sound that is exactly how you designed it in every aspect. Whether you find success in the music industry or not, you have a gift that many only dream of, and you are currently being afforded the opportunity to share that with the circle around you. The passion the music brings is near second-to-none, and I’m so glad that you have that passion.

You’ve got a great head on your shoulders and you’ve laid out a clear path for how to help yourself escape from these ruts of doubt. Your steps of taking a step back, restarting at the basics, recounting the good, reviewing and learning from the bad are amazing and truly healthy. I appreciate you being honest about your life, and I wish you nothing but the best. Keep enjoying the ability you have to create, and don’t beat yourself up when doubt or worry may creep in- that is simply human nature. We are always here for you if you’d like to speak any deeper. Until then- holdfast, we believe in you.

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@heartsupportwall7 I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to write this. I wish you the very best of luck as well. We really need each other in the music community. Not even our closest loved ones can understand this obsession we call music. lol as Eddie Van Halen once said; “I don’t know. The bug bit me. Big time.” I’ll never forget it because I knew exactly what he meant and I’m sure you know as well.

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