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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Toxicity by System of a Down
I getting divorced to my borderline psychotic ex and try to get my life back with my new girlfriend and daughter. System of a down is a music where i cry inside because i cant let it out. I was diagnosed with great depressions and suicidal thoughts. I got help before but now its only my child and girlfriend that helps me with my psyche.
Hey there friend.
Thanks so much for commenting here and allowing us to be a part of this with you, even if just for a moment.
It sounds like you’ve gone through a lot between a difficult past relationship and your diagnosis as having depression and suicidal thoughts. You mentioned how you previously had help but now you rely on your girlfriend and child to get by.
That sounds like a really difficult spot to be in. If you dont mind me asking, what has your depression been like for you? How has that effected you?
Regardless, I am so sorry that you’re struggling right now. I imagine life feels a bit messy right now and that old wounds can still feel a bit raw from time to time.
You’re persevering one step at a time and Im proud of you for that.
You mentioned that at one point you had help but that you dont get help, professionally, any more. Why is that?
I only ask because there was a point in my life where I didnt get help. I relied on people around me and my daughter to help get me by. But that only carried me, personally, so far. Because they were lights in my life. They were the reason I lived and breath. But that also meant that I was putting a lot of pressure on them. I almost needed them to need me, otherwise life began to have little meaning.
Of course, that was several several years ago. Ive since done a lot of work on myself and to be quite honest - i still need a lot of therapy and need to continue doing the work. But I believe the way I can show up best for my daughter is to show her that it’s ok to ask for help. Its ok to go to therapy. Its normal in the same way that a flu shot is normal.
I dont want this to feel prescriptive though. You know your needs and the needs of your family best. And ultimately, i want you to feel and be ok. And for your family to be ok.
Thanks so much for posting and for hearing me out. If you ever want to update us on your future, on your progress, feel free to post more on HeartSupport. We’re here to shoulder some of that burden with you, alongside you.
You’re kind. You’re capable. Hold fast, friend.