I just hate them so much. One time whenever I was at my grandmas house they kept making sexual jokes about my body and I was done with it so i went outside so I wouldnt yell at them and be criticuzed and yelled at by them and I was still yelled at and was told that “TheY WEre JuSt teAsINg”. I hated hearing that because you can tease someone while also not saying how if they jerked off more they wouldnt be so weak or joking about a 13 year old guy wearing panties and in general insulting them about it. They are assholes who sexualize me by consistently making jokes about me jerking off, slapping my ass, and not respecting boundaries in general. I hate this household. I dont need to learn how to take a joke you need to learn to respect boundaries and not overly sezualize minors to the point that they try to minimize interaction with you as much as possible. My dad also had super harsh punishments. My sibling was close to failing school and my dad told them if they failed that they werent allowed to go to school events, weren’t allowed to talk to friends, and couldn’t hang out with anyone all of next year. My dad was big into steak competitions and he went to the semi finals with a gold ticket that they decided to make physical for some reason. My family got to the hotel room after being in the hot summer day with grills all around making it even hotter so i sat down and accidently crumpled the golden ticket and after my dad found out that happened called me an absolute idiot and that im so dumb that i have to be doing this on purpose and then took my phone and locked it in a gun safe for a year. The golden ticket was not destroyed. IT WAS ONLY FUCKING CRUMPLED. He has over the years cursed me and my sibling out. When i was 9 I had to take the dog out and vaccum the floor. The only problems was that the dog was my size and pulled me around and the house we were living in had 2 stories and 5 bedrooms with 2 huge living rooms. Whenever i didnt do my chores for 2 weeks- a month my dad would just rip into me and curse me out and hit me. He wouldnt stop until i was at the edge of tears and couldnt even speak and then he would send me back to my room and act like nothing happened the day after. My cousin constantly held me by my feet and dangled me above the stairwell leading to the bottom floor while i was crying and my parents did nothing about it. I fell down the stairs with food and my dads only response was to yell at me to be more careful and to pick up my mess. I have diagnosed but unmedicated adhd and it just feels like no ones there for me to talk to about it despite having so many family members. I try to talk to people about what i find interesting but no one else knows what it is and makes fun of me for it and yet people ask why I’m so quiet. They always compare me to the old me. “Oh you used to be so much more talkative”, “oh you used to look so much better, “why arent you like you used to be”, " why are you so shut off you used to love talk with me” , and so many more comparisions and i just cant with these people any more. Thank you for reading.
hey mega,
thank you for being here and opening up about the horrible treatment you’ve undergone by your family. from the criticism to the verbal attacks, to the fear you felt in moments like your cousin dangling you from the stairwell, it’s understandable how you close yourself off to the world. after so much mistreatment, there comes a point when we just shut down from it all. even in times when you open up and share what you’re interested in and are met with mockery, it’s all so unfair and frustrating. i’m so sorry you’ve faced all of this. you deserve care, love, and support. never forget that truth. a brighter tomorrow is on your horizon, a tomorrow when you can find freedom from this negativity and mistreatment placed on you. keep fighting forward. i believe in you.
love,
twix
Hi friend,
You are the one who sets boundaries regarding what comments are appropriate or inappropriate. It is completely valid to tell a person that the comments they’re making are inappropriate or make you uncomfortable. I am sorry for what you’ve had to go through with your dad’s side of the family. Being treated in a disrespectful or unfair way would make me more reserved as well. That is a completely normal reaction when being put in your situation. Please remember you are heard and your feelings are valid.
-SM
Your anger and frustration make sense, friend. The “jokes” that your family told you sounded to be nothing but jokes really, and more a way to humiliate someone. Of course I don’t know the whole context nor how things were said, but even if it were jokes, you are allowed to not appreciate it and to ask them to stop. It’s okay to have boundaries - you are in your right by disapproving, by not finding it fun in any way. As you said, it is inappropriate in itself, especially because they’re family, and especially because you are a minor. I’m sorry you’ve been on the receiving end of these mockeries, friend. It’s such a painful feeling when your own family doesn’t feel safe to be with.
The way you’ve been treated by your parents and cousin is heartbreaking, and absolutely not how any child should ever be treated. You never deserved such brutality - on the contrary, you deserve to feel safe and cared for where you live and with your own family. In such circumstances, silences and being ignored, not being protected when you need it the most, is as hurtful as being physically hurt by someone.
I just want to reiterate that how you feel is absolutely understandable given everything you’ve been through and everything you’ve been enduring at home. Hopefully you can use this space right here to vent and express those emotions when you need it. Rest assured that this place right here is safe, and we value you wholeheartedly. This community cares about you. We see you, and we love you just as you are. 