I hate reality

so, i cleaned my room today and i wanna redo my flooring and stuff after cleaning since everything is going to be out of my room and stuff so we can sell it eventually. but my dad started talking about how we might not even be able to move even though this house is kind of a lot now, which sucks. his job is going to probably cut his pay so we won’t be able to keep up with the bills. idk. i don’t know why i’m here. when he was talking about all of that, all i could think about was how useless i am and how much money i probably waste. i just kept thinking about killing my self. i wanted to cry so bad but instead i just stared at the wall. idk what to do anymore. i hate capitalism. i hate the concept of money. i hate everything.

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The way it is with money as with you, it is with me too.

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It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of distress over money! That’s totally understandable, and I’m sorry you’re having to feel so useless and such. That sounds so challenging. Life can be so hard. I can relate to hating everything. It sounds like you’re feeling so much anger and sadness. I’m sorry. The mental health journey is never straight. Being with our strong emotions can be so hard, but I encourage you to honor your sadness or other emotions and crying if you can. It’s easier said than done, of course. Are you able to take some time for self-care, to do something small for yourself, like taking a nice shower or watching something you like? I hope you can take it one day at a time. :hrtlegolove:

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I know how scary it is when a parent is saying you might have to move. :heart:
I know that my words cannot prevent your suffering and fear but just keep holding on. :heart:

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