From alex07xd.: have u ever been at that place in your life where thers so much going on it’s making you nauseous but at the same tim pe you feel like nothings happening and you feel numb, so its like everything and nothings happening all st the same time, but you still have to mask and go to school, i just honestly want to die
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Is it kind of like the feeling of having two separate pains, one when you are busy and in the noise, but also one when there is no noise and you are a lone, in-escapable? I don’t know what all you are going through right now, and what’s feeding into the emotions you are speaking of, but if you ever want to share in more detail please feel free. I do know however, that yes, I have felt similar feelings to those you are describing. I think that surviving and expressing these emotions, and working on trying to find ways to healthily relief them can help us make it to the times without them, better times. But sometimes it can feel like we don’t have it in us to make it through them, and that they will never end. I believe in you, and believe you can make it through. There will good times. We care here, and want to see you succeed in your journey to a better mental space. Sometimes I think maybe not masking it is okay, and might help. It might feel like its best to stuff it all down and pretend it’s all okay, but I think sometimes its best to just let it all out, and to express what you are going through to the people around you and in your life. I’m not sure of stuff, or have any definitive answers, but Maybe if more people knew what you were going through, they would be better able to support you?
Absolutely. To me personally, I feel that way when I’m usually experiencing A LOT internally while my life keeps on going in quite a peaceful manner. It feels as if there is this big gap between what people would see of me from the outside, while deep inside it’s an effing chaos that would be very difficult to describe. Anxiety especially has this way to make me feel like everything is urgent, important and/or catastrophic while it’s not. Almost like a sensation of impending doom while you are just waking up like any other day and do the things you’re used to do. It’s the type of experience that makes me feel like I end up being on autopilot mode and no one really notices. If you feel numb after or while feeling overwhelmed, it might be a protective mechanism that your body activates in order to survive through what feels like chaos. Your life may not be objectively chaotic or difficult right now, but the perception you have of it can really shift the way you feel. To me it’s through the experience of anxiety in particular, but maybe for you the cause is different.
In any case… you’re not crazy for feeling that way and seeing yourself experience this kind of inner division. If anything, well done for being able to identify when it is happening. The perspective you learn to have over situations like this, AND talking about it, can be major steps towards improving the situation and feeling like you have ownership over your life again. One day at a time!
Hi alex07xd,
I’m sorry to hear that you feel this way. I imagine it must make it harder for you to show up and be present throughout your daily tasks and responsibilities. I’m also sorry that you feel as though you have to mask and hide what you are feeling. This too add an extra layer of weight as you go about your day.
You are not alone in how you feel. Others have and are currently experiencing similar feelings to what you expressed. You did well at identifying and describing your thoughts and feelings. I hope that you find it to express how you currently feel with your support system and that can be of some help to you as you navigate this internal struggle. Coping with such intense feelings on your own can be taxing and I have found for myself that having the support of others can make all the difference.
From alex07xd.: i opened up to someone about my attempt and they when “we’ll clearly you didn’t try hard enough” like what??!?