I hate this financial stigma

[lunxaire]

Hey guys, it’s almost 2am.

I’ll wait for the repercussions of still being awake at a later time. Right now, I’m reminiscing heavily. I don’t know how I got started on it, and it’s probably silly, but my heart still yearns for it.

Much like Neko, I am reminded of my childhood. Specifically Dance Dance Revolution, and how much even now I adore it. Unfortunately, I know I couldn’t get a decent dance pad— even if I can afford it. My aunt would deem it childish, and get upset with me for spending that kind of money. I have a cheap soft mat, but if you’ve ever played DDR on a console, you know just how awful these things slide.

I have no one to really go to the arcade with me, which is another thing my aunt would deem childish. I always go to the casino with her, and it’s so… ‘depressing’ to see that’s how some of our money goes to. Honestly, a decent dance pad looks like a normal purchase with what sometimes goes to the casino.

I feel like my days of enjoying things that made me happy and gave me a carefree life are over. I don’t want to feel “too old” to play a game that not only makes me happy, but gives me exercise. I don’t like Just Dance nearly like I love DDR. Something about those feet tappies, the bright lights, and upbeat music that just gets stuck in your head just feels different.

I don’t want to leave my family bad financially. But at the same time, I feel like I have no strive to even have money, other than appease my family. I’d love to just have my life back, even if it is “childish”.

I’m sorry, I’m rambling about something silly again.

[Mamadien]

Sweet friend,

I’m going to tell you that it’s not childish to love playing DDR! It’s great exercise and if you really love doing it, it’s good for your soul too. I truly believe we all need to have times when we take a break from adulting for a little bit and let our child play. Not so much that it interferes with functioning in life, but those brief breaks to laugh, move, be carefree. Is there a way to have a conversation with your aunt about how buying a dance pad would help with your health journey? I can see where DDR is amazing exercise.

Meanwhile, please do take time to do some things that let you relax, take a brain break, make you happy. We all need to find those times to just stop worrying, working, thinking and to just be and enjoy.

[Lisalovesfeathers]

Hey @lunxaire

Its really eye opening when you think how much of your life you are a youngster, a lot of people spend their younger years desperate to grow up and do more adult things and then you do! and then you realise it was far easier back then. The point is you do grow up, get responsiblities and that can be difficult however no one ever said you can’t have fun, infact life is short and you should do what makes you happy as often as you can. If you really want that mat, try to put a bit of money aside so that you can afford it (you will enjoy it far more if you are not worried about the money) then go get it and enjoy it.
I have no dout your aunt is just trying to be sensible and wanting to see you manage your life in the best way possible but to do that you want to be happy too not sitting around worrying about what is gonna happen next.
Your fun and happy days are far far from over, you have the world at your feet, make the most of it and please be happy. Much Love Lisa x

[Aardvark]

Hi lunxaire,
thank you for sharing. i have the plasma gun from the ghostbusters here. that thing is awesome.
there is nothing wrong with fun. you never get too old to have fun, to enjoy things. do not take life so much
serious all the time. when you like it, there is nothing wrong with it.
when you grow older, you mature and life is coming soon enough with everything towards yourself. fun and enjoying
things should ever stick with you.
and there is nothing silly to talk about. there is nothing silly when it comes to mind, also these little things matter
most, because it makes you happy. so it is important. you are the music, so dance to it. dance through life and
never hestitate to smile and have fun. you matter most and you are loved feel happily hugged

[DiscordReply]

From: ManekiNeko

I always find it funny with casinos. People tell me they’ve won x amount of money, but really the amount they’ve lost is incredible.
My uncle owns a casino and the amount of money alone spent on the gaming, they could stop serving food and drinks and be very happy!

Honestly just chatting about your post and the things we have spent money on to just enjoy is really fun!

the way I see it is that your spending money on something you’ll get use out of time and time again. It’s not just a quick buy with no gratification.
And if it’s your own savings and money earned then you deserve to have something you enjoy. I don’t see anything childish about it! I love Lego and books and have probably kept those business afloat over the last year haha! I’m also hoping to get a switch soon, so in the perspective of things, casino vs something you’ll enjoy for a long time, to me the win is the thing you’ll enjoy for a long time!

so maybe there’s a discussion that your family could sit down and have together about finances and spending. Maybe your voice needs to be heard about the concerns of investing money in casino and being made to feel spending money on something you love. Even if they think it’s childish.

[IGOTYOU]

Hi Lunxaire,

I am going straight to the point here so excuse me in advance only because I can relate to this so much.

This is YOUR life, no-one else. If this brings your great joy and frees you from concern continue to do so. Theres not many people that follow their passion or follow what brings them joy. I understand the financial side of this however you can achieve getting your studio. Dream big, however A dream without goals is just a dream.

Baby steps.
Create a vision board, record/stream your activity,
Work towards building your spectacular studio.
& Learn to say No.

Hope this helps,
Much love
x

[lunxaire]

I’m gonna reply to everyone in kind of a general message if that’s okay!

@Mamadien @Lisalovesfeathers

I do have like, one of the plastic mats currently, (I still need to unpack it and see if it still even works lol) and hypothetically speaking I can use something like that for now-- but it does require some work. These mats are known to slip around and not stay put because they’re a cheap rendition of trying to play an arcade game at home. I honestly don’t know how I did it as a kid haha. I feel like, since 2018, I’ve just been dead inside. Like depression aside, I don’t do anything in my preferred field. I looked at my grades between animation and IT, and it’s such a big difference that it’s sad to see.

@Aardvark
I love having collectable things like that. I’m a big anime nerd, and one of the last things my grandma got me was a plush of one of the cats in Sailor Moon. I thought I lost her forever in my aunt’s house, and cried when I found her again. I feel my life has become so mundane and boring that I don’t even want to wake up in the morning. I’d rather just sleep instead.

@Neko ('ll let you know I responded <3)

Yeah, my aunt’s had several good times-- a long time ago . She tends to play back a lot of what she earns. I’ve only ever played in double digits. If I double or I can break even, that’s enough. If I have $20, and I make $40, I’ll play $20 at most and call it good so it’s like I never spent anything. I’ve seen her take hundreds, win some, and then lose it all. And it… sucks. For a while I felt like all I did was make money for her to take about a third of my paycheck (granted I make pretty decent), and just… spend it that way. I’m kind of “financially monitored”, so it’s so awkward to think I have to ask to buy something, and even sometimes when I can buy something for myself, later on down the road she’ll interrogate me on why I thought I “really” needed this. Usually it’s over electronics, last time it was about my iPad. Which, I use just about everyday. I feel like I’m always treated like a child with everything, granted I’ve been an adult for quite a while.

@IGOTYOU

Thank you for this, it’s very nice to meet you. I feel a lot of the time that I’m… kind of inept in like, being a person haha. My life is very controlled by another so I feel awkward having to do anything on my own. I do struggle from extreme anxiety, but I might also be autistic (it’s really hard to get diagnosed for me right now) so it’s been a big struggle trying to be an adult. I really want to go back into my field I wanted to go into, but between my living situation, physical health, and mental health-- I don’t feel I can. I’m not really sure what you mean by a vision board, I’d love to start streaming art and games but I don’t think any of the technical stuff to do so can handle it on my end.

I want to thank everyone here for helping me through this. I talked to my aunt about getting a new laptop once things have settled down and we’re good with our finances, and she said yes to that. I know I’ll probably only have a set limit. I just feel… stuck.