I have, or I think I have a mental issue and I genuinely feel awkward and scared to talk about it but, I do have an insane habit of basically talking to myself out loud, and I had this habit since I was a kid and I managed to hide it from literally everyone until now, the thing that is bothering me with this habit is that I wasted, and I am continuing to waste so much time with this habit, it is like a bizarre type of procrastination where I talk to myself for literally hours and hours about all sorts of things from current world events to quantum physics to literally down-right delusional fantasies, I always fought it and could get through the obstacles it put in my way, I was always the best or one of the best at everything I did, but I felt this habit always stopped me from staying at the top of the mountain for so long you know, I was in the top, but I always felt I was second place, not good enough, and I genuinely believe it is because of this habit, and I have had this habit since I was a kid, what a started as a way to kill time because studying was boring(I still murdered it in school) became a bizarre form of procrastination gone mad, and I feel it is finally taking its toll and is slowly killing me.
First off, welcome to Heart Support!
I can understand how it can be socially awkward and how you can feel different for it. Youâre not crazy, and like you said, youâre not stupid for itâa lot of neurodivergents are really smart, just different. It sounds like itâs getting disruptive though, and itâs not âokayâ if itâs bothering you. Iâd try to get a consult from a psychiatrist, or start with your GP and get a referral to a psychiatrist. Donât let that scare youâtheyâre not there to judge or patronize you, theyâre there to help you, whether thatâs with meds or behavioral exercises. Youâre in good company, both on this forum and out in the world, with people who are just a little different and learn to cope with that with the help of people who know what theyâre talking about, and thatâs okay 
Thanks man, the issue is where I am from, not only are mental health resources practically nonexistent and if you talk about mental health in any way, youâre seen as weakling and as pathetic, I wish I could go to a professional and get this fixed, but I have nothing, so this forum is probably the only thing I have, other than God and me.
Wow that sucks. My bad for taking for granted that you have that kind of access. Maybe you can try to track someone down online though. I know with COVID my psych is only doing online appointments, and I imagine most are doing the same. Psychiatrist appointments, and consultations in particular, are almost totally verbal. The beauty of doing it online is that it removes geographical barriers, and it gives you a bit of privacyâyou donât have to tell anyone what youâre doing. I donât know if that helps, but itâs an idea.
I havenât found anything to be honest, to tell you the truth and letâs say I donât have the ability to do it online due to some circumstances, it is unfortunate man, things that you never thought would haunt you, haunting you. But I wonât give up yet, I beat anxiety, and it has minus infinity control over me and I beat my anger issues as well, but I get angrier sometimes than I would like to admit, although it is way less than before, before I would punch walls to the point where my nerves were in danger of being damaged, thank god I stopped it, I am not sure why I added this,I guess it is a nice way to reflect on past actions.
Hi Xavier1, A couple of things come to mind for me, but I may be way off. One, all of us have a internal dialog going on in our heads all day long. It may be that you give voice to your internal dialog as a way to process information. Two, it seems like you may prefer a lot of mental stimulation, meaning that your mind hungers for things to think about, problems to solve, etc.
It may be, like you said, use this âvoiceâ to procrastinate, but your message conveys much more distress.
I encourage to take a deeper look at this, as it seems to be having a profound affect on your life. Without a professional, I suggest that you pay close attention to your thoughts, and journal. Perhaps writing your thoughts can slow this down enough to help you gain more insight into whats going on inside with you, when your in conversation with yourself. Thinking of other things, keeps our minds off of issues we need to address, but again, I may be way off. I hope it gets better for you.
Peace
I think youâre right to some extent my guy, I do think my brain does it, so I can escape reality either due to horrible circumstances or because it is more rewarding to talk to myself than for example do something productive, I genuinely think it is a bad way of escaping and coping with stress, but I will try writing my thoughts in a Journal,so thanks.
I think gnuone has a point. I think we all sub-vocalize and I used to work with someone who talked out loud all the time. My wife talks to herself a lot. Sometimes Iâm really focused on something, my lips and tongue move a little bit in concert with my thoughts.
There are some seemingly helpful resources online, also some that I think may trigger unnecessary anxiety about the issue. Hereâs a link that might be a bit helpful: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/talking-to-yourself
By the way, itâs really hard to be the best at any one thing, let alone everything. If you are second-best or 20th best, itâs okay. When you think about it, trying to hard to be the best at everything, could easily prevent you from being the best at anything. You donât have to be at the top of the mountain. Being anywhere on the mountain is a fine place to be. Our culture places far too much emphasis on competition, inciting a struggle to dominate. I think weâd all be better off if there was more cooperation than competition. One of the main problems with competition is that usually, there ends up being one winner, which suggests that everyone else is a loser. That is not a good seed to plant in a childâs mind. There are countless adults around who still retain the identity of a non-winner, because of early childhood conditioning.
If a person chooses to âfightâ a bad habit he is telling himself that a struggle is about to ensue, the outcome of which is far from assured. The fact is, the more apprehension a person feels about tackling a bad habit, the more staying power the person assigns to it. For example, to say Iâm going to fight like hell to stop eating doughnuts, informs the mind that leaving the habit behind will require an incredible fight. This exercise of cognitive dissonance seems to be almost universal, and the resulting negativity is how we turn our personal power against ourselves.
The way to avoid this self-imposed defeat is to relax!
You have given this habit too much power over you, and may even hold it responsible for difficulties it has not caused.
You may not be currently into such things, but meditation in some form can be very helpful, even a technique that uses a mantra.
I am confident that you will overcome this challenge, probably much sooner than you would expect.
Thanks man, I genuinely needed to hear that, although I have to disagree on my not being the best at something my point was, that I felt this habit was stopping me from having the edge you know, like what would Apollo from rocky 3 would describe as âThe eye of the tigerâ you feel me, but seriously thanks man, I cannot seriously stress it enough.
What if some of that self-talk, at some point in your history actually gave you the âeye of the tigerâ edge. Iâm pretty sure itâs very helpful in gaining writing skills.
This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.