I don’t have anything I wanna do in life like I have no really drive that I can turn into a living I see people talk about this stuff and like tbh I think about living without others for support and I think about dying like either offing my self or laying there starving my self to death like I can’t look after my self and it’s something that scares me like if I didn’t live with someone I wouldn’t do anything but waste away and it’s not like a depression thing cuz like even when I’m happy I don’t have this drive to like support my self and like I really worry about what will happen to me when my family passes like people tell me I just gotta find something I love but like I have things I love I just like don’t have that drive I feel broken like there’s two parts of my brain one that’s a adult and another that’s like a kid Im pretty sure I have autism but can’t afford to get tested cuz it’s 1k to 1.5k dollars and my family is poor and I don’t have a income I can look after my self in so much as semi cook and I can bathe semi regularly (I have depression and anxeity so often I put needs of others before my own) I do my laundry and I can do dishes but anything like holding a job or any real “adulting” my anxiety and depression spike WAY up I worked at a bakery last year and the stress nearly caused me to put my self in a ward and well I just idk I’m scared I’m broken and that I’m not meant to exist in this world (I’m safe don’t worry I just needed to ask for advice)
I’m sorry I don’t have more time right now to post a detailed answer, but I wanted to let you know I read everything you wrote.
I want to assure you that life is a good gift. You are here, which means you’re meant to exist. Take the best care of yourself that you can right now.
Others will answer your post too. I’ll check back tomorrow.
It’s pretty insightful to realize there’s both an adult and a child within you. A lot of times when a person grows up, their inner child is suppressed or even its existence is denied. I think people who do not allow their inner child some space and expression, miss out on a lot of what makes life worthwhile. There’s no need to feel “broken,” because having an adult side and a playful one is a good thing. The inner child does want love, and if nothing else, love that part of yourself.
The problem with that is that those unmet needs of yours form the basis for depression and anxiety. Consider adding some symmetry to the Golden Rule: treat yourself as you would treat others.
When it comes to “adulting,” stick to small steps until you’re comfortable enough that you can take the next small small steps. If you want to work, try a day or two a week, and see how that works out.
You are meant to exist in the world, otherwise you wouldn’t. Be patient with yourself. Work within your limitations while you gently and gradually move beyond them.
Stay safe! Wings
It’s less making room for it and like there are two very different parts of my brain like on one side there’s the “Neurotypical” part of me that formed from having undiagnosed Neurodivergents and then there’s the neuro divergent side where like some things are literally just impossible or near impossible for me to really handle like there are things that if I try to do them I get really frustrated or become incredibly depressed or increasingly suicidal and I hate talking about this cuz it just seems like everyone is just gonna tell me to be quite and just grow up when Its far more complicated than that
I understand what you mean Derpplup. Lately I have been having similar thoughts. I wish I could give you a satisfying answer but I don’t have one right now. I don’t want to give you any half baked positive buzzline because I know that wount help and probably would just made you feel even more misunderstood. I hope there is a way to make things better and I hope this is not all life is about. I suppose we will just have to wait and see.
How are you doing tonight?
I mean I’m fine I was fine when I wrote that well fine as in safe I was just up alone with my thoughts and need advice with how to handle this crap everyone I tell is often neurotypical or dosent have this feeling inside them
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I’m glad you’re doing OK. What you’re struggling with sounds like it needs professional help at some point. Thanks for responding back. Keep coming here for support.
There are groups on Discord you could check out, see if any of them would be good for you. Also, there’s a resource list that might have something on it that’s helpful.
Take care~
I think I can kinda relate. Between debilitating PTSD from an early age, dyslexia, and ADD, things weren’t easy for me. I absolutely couldn’t do anything with math until I was an adult, and even then, I needed a lot of remedial work, just to get started. I’m decent at writing, but am clueless regarding rules of grammar. I just somehow manage it by instinct. I’ve also dealt with agoraphobia, depression and anxiety. I am on Welbutrin, which seems to reduce depressive triggers. I like working with my hands, especially carpentry. There are days when I have to cut 5 pieces of wood, just to get one that is actually in the shape I intended. I haven’t figured out how to overcome dyslexia when it comes to measuring and calculating angles. So, I just mess up a lot till I get it right.
With all the problems that come with it, neurodivergence is also an open door to creativity.
You can talk to people who understand. You’re not alone. You’re not alone with the problem of being around others who don’t try to understand.
I’m glad you’re here. I hope things get better for you.
Thank u I also deal with agoraphobia along with my depression and anxiety and a few other things like ptsd and I just I feel like it’s alot and I’m only able to handle so much
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hi Derpplup, I’m so sorry that you’re having such a hard time and I’m wondering where your disability case stands. If I remember right, you tried to get it. If you’ve got a psychiatrist and doctors who can be on your side, it might be easier for you. Also, a lawyer. I know you said you don’t have an income, but there are services in each state that will help you find the recourses you need to get started. The United Way has a service called 211 that you can dial and call for tons of resources in your county. It’s not in every state, but it’s worth a try. I hope you figure things out and things get better for you. ~Mystrose
From: Mamadien
I’m so sorry that you are feeling this way. Do you feel like your depression is worsening? Do have doctor that you see for your depression and anxiety? Perhaps they could help with those symptoms? I’m thinking that there may be resources available to you, with the diagnoses you state you have, that could get you the help you need to move forward. Please stay in touch with us and let us know how you are doing.
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hey Friend I am so sorry that you are feeling this way and I am glad you posted, you are trying to cope with so much and you need to ask for help, please go and see your doctor and talk to them about what is available to you that you can get for free, I have been told there is a lot out there for people that you dont have to pay for but unfortunately I dont think the government shout about it, I think you have to ask. I do understand that you are in a place in your head right now where you dont feel like that, you dont want to have to do that but unless you have family or friends who can do it on your behalf then its the only way to help yourself and you deserve to feel better and you absolutely deserve all the help that is out there and available to you. I truly hope you can gather yourself to be able to do this, please use us as support anytime. Much Love Lisa x
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