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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Hot To Be Me by Ren Ft Chinchilla
I have been listening to Ren quite frequently last few months. I am really struggling with my mental health like 7 years now? I had like 5 different psychiatrists and several different psychologists…the previous psychiatrist I was under traumatised me for life and I went through like another different traumatic events before in my life. She didn’t care at all about me and did not listen, I had 5 attempts of ending my life under her supervision in 12 months. The last appointment I had with her was opened by her with words ‘Oh, I am quite surprised you’re still alive.’ After this I complained and been sent under new local mental health team here in the UK. I was put under new antipsychotic medication etc because she just stopped everything because in her eyes I didn’t need anything anymore. I am still on a quite low dosage of everything but my symptoms like voices and visual hallucinations are out of control completely, my anxiety disorder with panic attacks is unbearable and low mood plus really dark thoughts of ending it all!? 8/10 every time I wake up. I am still holding on to the idea that it will finally change soon but deep inside me I know that I am loosing this hope every single day, bit by bit. Sometimes I sleep like 35 minutes per night.
Ren’s music is everything to me as well as NF’s music…music in general is my only coping strategy I’ve got left. I am just really tired of being every day like that…it has been long 7 years and nothing ever improved. 
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Hi @HeartSupport_Fans,
I’m super proud of you being brave to share your concerns. You aren’t alone suffering mental health issues. I also had a couple bad experiences with psychiatrist, psychologists, and mental therapists. Not all medical professionals are train the same way to sympathize those with patients with mental health disorders. I feel that psychiatrist should take time to explain the side effects of each medication to all patients. Medication does save people lives with mental health issues like me. Do I recommend others to take medication for mental health? No, it’s your choice to take if you want to. Your brain and body reacts different for each medication. Just remember you aren’t alone. I’m currently took this anxiety medication in which is making me depress. I need to meet my psychiatrist to find another medication to treat my anxiety and panic attacks.
This year I met the most the perfect psychiatrist and mental therapist. They took time to learn on who I was as a person. If the method doesn’t follow through, my psychiatrist will come up with another plan. It’s awesome that you listen to Ren and NF’s music as a coping strategy.
You may think I’m kind of crazy! What do you mean that you haven’t improved? Trauma is the most hardest thing for anyone to battle. You are a warrior for fighting against trauma for 7 years. You are trying to improve you mental health for many years by seeing mental health professionals. It seems like you understand on what type of medications doesn’t work for you. Just remember that HeartSupport and I are to support even you facing something difficult in your life!!