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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Hot To Be Me by Ren Ft Chinchilla
I have been listening to Ren quite frequently last few months. I am really struggling with my mental health like 7 years now? I had like 5 different psychiatrists and several different psychologists…the previous psychiatrist I was under traumatised me for life and I went through like another different traumatic events before in my life. She didn’t care at all about me and did not listen, I had 5 attempts of ending my life under her supervision in 12 months. The last appointment I had with her was opened by her with words ‘Oh, I am quite surprised you’re still alive.’ After this I complained and been sent under new local mental health team here in the UK. I was put under new antipsychotic medication etc because she just stopped everything because in her eyes I didn’t need anything anymore. I am still on a quite low dosage of everything but my symptoms like voices and visual hallucinations are out of control completely, my anxiety disorder with panic attacks is unbearable and low mood plus really dark thoughts of ending it all!? 8/10 every time I wake up. I am still holding on to the idea that it will finally change soon but deep inside me I know that I am loosing this hope every single day, bit by bit. Sometimes I sleep like 35 minutes per night.
Ren’s music is everything to me as well as NF’s music…music in general is my only coping strategy I’ve got left. I am just really tired of being every day like that…it has been long 7 years and nothing ever improved.