@Heartsupportwall I have been struggling with accepting that the majority of my life I have focused only on being the provider of happiness for others without looking for my own. I only recently came to accept and understand this and looking back I have sacrificed “me” for over 2 decades to be what I thought I was supposed to be. I have found comfort in alcohol and ignored my own interests to be what others needed me to be. I recently confessed all of this to myself and then to my wife who has been super supportive but I am still struggling with the fact that most of my life I wasn’t living but merely surviving.
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Wow, seeing this in yourself is a huge step ! And opening up to those close to you… this is impressive. Truly well done. I know you’re at the beginning of your journey, so here is some encouragement for the future ahead: one day at a time, don’t be afraid to fall, and always remember where you came from. Take the time to mourn the person you were and celebrate the changes you wanna make.
You are a wonderful human for being so open about the walk between who you were and who you wish to become. It’s not an easy place to be. As a 12 step person myself, I have met and am part of legions of people on the path to becoming their true selves with you. I wish you healing and a new found wellness in your life.
With Love ,
-Em
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Hey friend. It takes a lot of strength to reach that level of self-awareness. Somehow, you could have spent another 2 decades without acknowledging your own limits and the fact that you were denying yourself for the sake of others. But you don’t. And that is something to be proud of. However, as you describe so well, coming to this honest conclusion is painful. Somehow, you are grieving the missed opportunities, the person you could have been if you hadn’t put others as a priority. I have felt that way when I’ve started to become aware of how abusive my family was while I grew up. It was like looking at my story with a totally different perspective. Each event and detail of my own journey suddenly made sense, but it also brought its share of pain, regrets and anger. It was kind of bittersweet, as I was both grateful for being in this observant position, but also for feeling like I was blind for so long. There really is a part of grief in that kind of process. It takes time to digest these informations, it takes time to replace them in our storyline in the right way, and it takes time to learn from it in order to take the next steps. I imagine that you’ve been giving so much to others because it would make sense in your story as a whole. Oftentimes we become the giver and we ignore our limits as a way to survive, to exist in the eyes of others, to have some control but also simply because we weren’t told what boundaries and self-care are. It is never too late to realize those things. As long as we are breathing, there is hope, and there is the possibility to do things differently. As human beings we are constantly moving, changing. We learn from each experience, and I have no doubt that you are going to grow from this one in such a magnificent way. Take your time. Be kind to yourself while you are learning to live instead of surviving. It is a process that can seem to be slow sometimes, but it’s going to be so worth it. I am proud of you for being honest with yourself today and for reaching out as well. Your voice is important. Your needs are important. Your well-being too. You are not alone. <3