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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to BLACK by PearlJam
I have loved deeply only so many times in my life. Think I can count on one hand the women I have loved with everything that I could give. The one that left this mark on me broke me so bad. Took years to allow anyone in or to get close to me. But for whatever reason it happened again. So no I don’t know if it’s me, if it is the time we live in. Not sure if I will ever get the answers that I seek and want. But I never give second chances for betrayal for I never cheat and I am faithful to the end. This last one was my marriage with three boys. It still cuts and my life was turned to black. If it wasn’t for the fact that I am raising our sons I don’t know where I would be. Peace to you all!
When we give ourselves, purely and completely, it is such a stab in the chest to have the love we give taken for granted and treated like it’s invaluable. It isn’t easy opening up and I don’t blame you for wanting to guard yourself.
I’ve dealt with similar heartbreaks you’ve felt. I gave so much of my self and loved so deeply only to be treated like I was nothing and left feeling betrayed and used. It isn’t fair to us, it isn’t fair at all. It took me such a long time and a lot of trust building when I met someone again to feel like I would mentally be able to open myself up.
Instead of seeing the ways I’ve been hurt as things that broke me, I’ve looked at them as lessons. I’ve learned that if someone is deserving of my love, they’ll prove to me why they earn it. I’ve learned things about myself and things about other people by reframing my heartbreaks so that I can pick myself up off the floor and see that there is hope, even when it feels like there’s none.
If you’re struggling with feeling like the love you give is never reciprocated, I want to remind you that you have three people in your life, your three sons, who see you as their dad. They love you because you care for a raise them, and even if they don’t always say it, they are appreciate of what they did for you. I know when they get older they’ll be able to look back and be so happy that they had such a wonderful father who loved them so deeply.
You love is not a curse or something to be changed, but it is a strength. As someone who also feels and gives deeply, it took me a while to realize what a superpower it is. I believe that there are people in your life and people you will meet who will reciprocate and appreciate your emotions more than you could ever imagine. Keeping being exactly who you are, you are a gift <3