I have no more trust in anyone anymore. I’m done

So a little background:

Recently my ex girlfriend and I “officially” broke up. Things were pretty rough back in July and we never really got over it, until one day we decided enough was enough. However, that’s not the part that bothered me…rumors were going around school about her faking her cancer. I heard this, and I got suspicious. I went over all of our conversations and everything, and found pictures she sent me over time. Things like a chest tube in her chest, with captions like “this sucks”. Along with a picture of a dog in a hospital, with the caption “this cutie came into the ICU today to cheer everyone up”. I did some digging and found these pictures online. That chest tube definitely was not hers and that dog photo was taken in some Kentucky hospital (we definitely don’t live in Kentucky). I basically just proved that she was lying. She sent me the chest tube photo back in February, and the dog one in May of 2019. Clearly, she had been lying for sometime. I became suspicious of basically everything. Did she really ever have cancer in the first place? What else has she been lying about?
I ended up confronting her over text one day. I asked her if it was all a lie, and she said no. I showed her the pictures I found, and asked her to explain. Basically she lied about the duration of having cancer because she was afraid of losing her friends. Afraid they’d leave because she would no longer be sick. Apparently she was diagnosed in December ish of 2018, and was in remission early February of 2019.
Anyway, I learned all of this about a month ago and I’m still having a hard time dealing with it. I already had trust issues, but learning about this didn’t help at all. To add on to that, when all of this first came out, everyone was pretty pissed off at her, including me. I didn’t and still don’t understand all of this. However, recently it just seems like it never happened. Everyone in the big friend group, has basically gone back to normal with her. And it bothers me. I can’t just avoid her, because she’s in some classes and after school activities with me. And every time I see her, it annoys me so much. I’m trying to get her off my mind, and let it go, but I can’t. My brain just doesn’t work that way. I don’t understand how they could forgive her like that. Don’t they see that what she did wasn’t okay?
I guess it did have a bigger impact on me because we were dating for about 10 months before everything, but still. I just don’t think this is something you can look past. Cancer is a serious disease, and it’s not something to play around with. I’ve tried to look at it through her perspective, but I just don’t know. She had friends before the cancer, and surely they wouldn’t leave if she got cured. They’d be happy and excited for her. Ya know? And to top things off, my sister runs off with our dog to go and play around with him and my ex after school. That makes me really angry, because anybody that knows me, knows that the only thing I love in the world more than anything else, is my dog. My sister is basically conversing with the enemy, and I told her that. And she flat out said “faking cancer for 5 months isn’t really a bad thing”. That really agitated me. Like seriously. NOT cool. At all. My ex invaded my friend group and basically is in control now.
Anyhow, I guess I’m writing all this to not only share and get it out of my head, but also to maybe get some advice. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t stand to be around any of my friends at the moment. And this whole situation is making me even more depressed and stressed out. I just can’t keep going like this. She graduates this year, but that’s quite a ways away. Her being near me and always around, Is making me miserable. I just want something to change. I want a little support once in a while, but I don’t have any because they’re all friends with her and that makes me real mad. Some things can’t be forgiven. And for me, lying about cancer is one.

Man oh man this sounds crazy. One, you are correct, lying about cancer is not okay. But the forgiveness is up to you. What she did is really not cool, but what about now? Can there be a way forward?

There’s a lot to unfold in this topic but first off. I’m sorry that it feels like this has caused a riff in your friendships. It is ok to be hurt by what has happened, it’s a lot to process. But we can’t expect everyone in the group to stop hanging out with her. She made a mistake. A BIG one. We can’t control what other people do, only how we respond. I’m glad that some of the friends have been able to forgive her and stick by her side. I know it’s hard to watch because you might feel bitter towards her, which is understandable, but it seems like she needs friends. It seems like she has a lot of insecurities and things she is struggling with to lead her to lie like that. It doesn’t excuse what she’s done, but it does seem like she needs some help. Just because your friends are still hanging out with her, doesn’t mean they love you any less. They may not think of it as “choosing sides” or “conversing with the enemy”. It sucks that it’s uncomfortable around them all though. You don’t deserve that and I don’t think any of your friends want you to feel that way. If being around her is truly making you miserable it is ok to take a step back. Take care of yourself.

We’re glad you’re here. You are not alone. You’re friendship dynamics are changing, that happens in life. Be true to yourself and others will see that. I’m proud of you for being transparent here about how it all really makes you feel. Have you talked openly with any of your close friends about how this is affecting you? They may not realize that you’re not on the same page as them. They just might not see you pain.

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I know that breakups are tough in general, and that losing the trust you had in that person due to lies and secrets makes that pain even worse.

Time does heal things. I know that sounds cliche, but it’s true. Some things just take more time than others.

In my opinion it helps to find ways and people you can vent through and to about the situation.

I know you don’t know me, but if you ever need someone I’ll always be here to be a lending ear.

Stay strong. Things can get better. I promise. I know from that from experience.

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