I am getting tired of being a nobody, I’m still single, I’m better at making enemies than making friends, I’m so bored all the time, I’m stuck with some depressed and negative mindset. I feel like I will never accomplish my goals. Part of my mind says, “I just want to fucking DIE!!!” and another part says, “Just keep trying, killing yourself won’t make anything better.”
I don’t know what I want to do anymore, I don’t know who I am anymore. I went to confession last week, and the next day it was fucking ruined again! I’m becoming so lustful because I have never had a girlfriend before. I feel like I have no control over my life and myself. If you can’t think of a reply to this post, it’s not your fault because nothing motivates me anymore.
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Hi!
First of all that I am going to say, is that you aren’t alone and I can be sure, that a lot of people may have feel like you are feeling right now, me for example I can say too, that I am horrible at making friends and I am still single too and for what I have learn, that is okay.
For what I have learn, there are people that are better at making friends than others and that okay because we are different and everyone have something that for them is difficult and to get over that situation, maybe we have to try more than others and that okay. My advice is, keep trying to meet new people, because the more you try to make new friends the easier will be to people to like you and to maybe become your friend. Is only to keep trying, it wont be easy, but it would be worth.
I am glad that one part of your minds says that you have to keep trying because that is what you have to do. I know the feeling of wanting to end everything, to end the pain, to end your thoughts, I have been there too and there were days, when I couldn’t stop thinking about that, about ending everything. But for what that I have learned, is that the situation that is hurting you know, the situation that hurt me, wont stay forever, you can get out of this situation, you can make your life better by trying to make everydays your best day ever, by trying to be your better version.
It isnt easy but I think that is worth it.
Stay safe and have a good day 
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