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Belongs to: Therapist gets Sober by Tool
I just recently relapsed in terrible fashion with alcohol after over a year of sobriety and this reaction video hit me hard with all the feels: tears, goose bumps, grim determination to overcome my inner demons and this cunning, baffling, and powerful addiction. I am definitely in need of support in this life-or-death struggle! 
Hang in there brother I’ve fallen many times many of us have. The most important thing I’ve learned is what you do after you fall! Need to get the fuck up and fight for your life with everything you got. Identify and acknowledge toxic destructive behaviors move/get away from bad company, whatever it takes!! Jobs, relationships, whatever it is that might cause you to fall isn’t worth your own life!! Good luck my friend:heart:
Don’t take this wrong, but it’s ok to fail at sobriety. It means you’re trying, and trying actively. If you have 100 addicts, maybe MAYBE 5 succeeded the first time, and in those 5, 4 are probably full of shit. It’s so rare. And you’re never done fighting until you’re dead. Every day is another day you can fail. Don’t beat yourself up. Fight. EVERY. DAY.
Hey brother xTRich78x, I’m feeling that. It seems that in my struggle with addiction, I want to reach into my soul, rip out the sickness and violently kick my addiction to the curb, that is referred to as a “hot quit”. I have done that so many times! I’m thinking I need to try another game plan. It is depression and being overwhelmed with issues beyond my control that lead me to temptations. So I need to get out of my head. I’m looking for a “cold quit” that will persevere. I hope the best for your self determination and your journey into a sober lifestyle. Addiction may be behind us, but it is always RIGHT behind us it seems… be well brother!
Thank you for your openness and sharing about a struggle that too often brings a huge amount of shame on our shoulders. It’s hard to talk about those things, especially in light of a relapse, so I hope you can acknowledge the step you took here and be proud of yourself for it. I’m personally so thankful that you’ve decided to share about your own experience and how things have been recently. You absolutely don’t deserve to face these challenges just on your own. There’s people out there rooting for you.
Relapses are some of the most challenging experiences that one can feel. You’re on top, you fele in control and suddenly it feels your entire just collapses. It makes you want to retreat, give in and hide in a corner. It makes you question all your efforts, everything you’ve learned, all the strength and resilience you’ve developed over time - was it worth it? why am I trying in the first place? what’s the meaning of healing really?
Somehow, relapses are part of recovery, but knowing this doesn’t always make the pill easier to swallow. Once you’re in the belly of the beast, it feels like you’re just caught up in fucking trainwreck, sitting both at the driver and passenger seat simultaneously. You seel the fall happening while feeling it all. It hurts like hell. My heart goes out to you as you are fighting this tough battle.
If anything, this relapse will become a part of your journey, but it’s not going to condition it as a whole. You’ve been over ONE YEAR sober - how freaking awesome and strong is that? You’ve spent an entire year not giving in to the urges to drink your emotions away, while feeling a huge range of things and being confronted to varied situations. You have the tangible knowledge experience of the strength that exists within you, of your beautiful ability to overcome this struggle. Sometimes we face situations where our vulnerability feels stronger in the equation, and a relapse happens. But I hope you can forgive yourself and offer yourself all the grace you deserve in this time, without losing sight of why you are working on your sobriety. We are SO very proud of you, friend, and we wholeheartedly believe in you. You can get back on your feet.