I just wanna let my feelings out

Hello to whoever reads this, Im 14 years old and I got really depressed this year, I gained weight, I lost my socialising skills… I have suicidal thoughts often, but I just can’t do it, I can’t give up, even though I know that it won’t get better. My parents tell my that im just fat piece of shit with no future. I don’t have any friends too. I was trying my best to get better, but my mother is making me feel like Im worthless… I just wanted to let this out. I can continue on, but I keep crying while writing this.
Btw english is not my first language

If you need to scream everything that makes you feel like you are less, do it here. Scream anguish and pain at these walls and they will whisper acceptance back at you. Everyone here has known pain. It might take some time to find them, but there is probably at least one person who has known your kind of pain. Welcome to a place of help. Please don’t leave.