Here I am again. At 11 at night.
My body is tired, my eyes are heavy, but my mind won’t shut up.
I’m so tired right now but I can’t sleep. My mind is filled with all the thoughts of the unknown.
Right now I really want to self injure because I’m so mad at myself because I can’t sleep and I can’t turn off my mind. I feel like I’m never going to amount to anything.
I’m just so freaking tired but my brain won’t stop.
I just want to cry and hurt but the tears won’t come out.
I’m so tired of fighting and trying over and over and over.
I don’t feel important or worthy of any love. Why would I get love? I don’t deserve it. I don’t feel like I help people, I can’t save people. I’m just so freaking tired.
I feel like I don’t accomplish anything and I can’t do anything.
I’m just so freaking tired and done. Everyday is the same thing over and over.
You are loved and worth more than you’ll ever know. And none of that is based on performance or on what you can or cannot do. You are loved and valued because you exist. Your Creator loves you and so do we.
Lyss. I’m so so proud of you for fighting those thoughts and reaching out like this. You don’t know how much you mean to so many in this community and I know that no matter what I say that you’re going to challenge that. Just know that you’re doing amazingly and we love you. We are here for you. You can do this.
You are not alone. Just saying and being open about how you feel is amazing. Some can’t do that. Just know that this is why you are on HS. This is where we can come and say how me really feel and meet an endless amount of people who actually and finally understand. We are all here for you. And we want you to stay around… Please. Xo
Thank you everyone. I appreciate your words.
I think I fell asleep at 12 am rather than 2 am so I think I am slowly getting back to where I want to be.
I guess it’s just become easier to combat those thoughts in the daytime, but when I’m laying alone with all my thoughts it’s just harder to combat those thoughts.
Once again, thank you. Love you all.
@Lyss You are very loved. And you are so deserving of love.
You’re a fighter. You’re SO strong and you WILL get through this. We believe in you! I’m glad to hear that you were able to fall asleep at midnight, too, as opposed to 2am (via what you mentioned in your other post). You’re headed in the right direction! Have you tried taking something to help calm your mind, like melatonin tablets or an essential oil diffuser (with lavender)? Those work for a lot of people.