I just wanted a friend

I am having an extremely difficult time currently. I am different. I am loud because I am deaf and speak funny. All I have ever wanted in life was a friend. Each time I have had a friend, my family has gotten involved, and taken that from me. I had a good friend once who dated a family member who I thought was my best friend and lied about it. At one point, all of my friends have complained about me. It feels right now, everyone is stabbing me in the back, spreading so much hatred about me, when I have tried to stop talking about others, but then they talk about me.

I have put my trust and value in the wrong people. People who said that they were my friends ultimately betrayed my trust, too, and gossiped about me, too. Why is it so hard just to want one friend who doesn’t make fun of me because I’m different? Why is it so hard not to want to be blamed for what others are doing, but it’s okay because they are more popular than me? I’m afraid to reach out to anyone that I’m still struggling when I feel like they are sick of me complaining.

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Hello, I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m not really old enough to know that much but I just wanted to tell you that you aren’t alone. If it helps I want you to know that I also used to have a hard time making friends. Every time I tried to start a conversation on with someone, it just seems like I’m boring them the more I spoke. Reaching out to people has also been a hard thing for me lately and I totally relate with you. Making friends might be hard for you now, but just know that in the future it will get better. I may not be someone you know but I will be cheering on for you. You’re really cool for letting out your feelings and expressing your thoughts like this. Good luck on your journey of making real friends :slight_smile:

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Hi @Supergirl,

The last few weeks I made some new friends and went with my gut. I also set some boundaries with them because I need my alone time. It’s hard to make friends due to different interests and opinions. There was online group that I joined to find new friends.This year I was super fortunate to make two friends online out of luck. Some people are too complicated and reject if you talk something boring. That’s just ludicrous to me. In real life, you will introduce yourself by greetings.

I noticed my past friendship failed for numerous of reasons. Sometimes I feel it was my fault but it can be them too. This is the same pattern on what I noticed from my toxic friends. How can you be friends with someone if you aren’t open-minded? Why would you make excuses not to hang out with me? Do you know that people gossip about me because of your actions? The ghosting from my ex-friends still bother me this day. My sister used social media more than me. She will tell me everything that my ex-friend post in social media. It’s sad how they make new friends after they ghost me. It’s all in the past for me. I just got to focus on my current friend in which it’s doing pretty well.

I totally agreed with @HeheKe7. A good friend will always be open-minded & support your mental health. I’m still working on making new friends too. You aren’t alone. I feel like I’m boring person sometimes and that it’s okay. I hope you are able to make friends in the future.

Hey there!

First off I just want to say thank you for reaching out, we appreciate it and don’t take it for granted.

I want you to know man I relate to this to an extent. Although we struggle in different ways, I do totally relate with the friendship difficulties. It is SO HARD to make friends! I wish there was a way that was easier, I wish that it just worked out. You don’t deserve what you are going through with these people- with them talking behind your back and complaining about you… that is not friendship, and I am so sorry you are going through those struggles right now.

Your post here makes me feel less alone, and I believe it will make many others feel less alone as well. In school I had such a difficult time making friends, I was shy and quiet and awkward; people would come and go, not many would stay. It is so hard to find those who you just click with. Something that helped me was, for one thing, Heart Support. I found friends who actually cared and that I could relate with and talk to here.

I’m sorry that your family seems to be a barrier in your friendships, you don’t deserve that. It’s ok to be different… who you are is deserving of happiness, peace, and friendship. I wish I could know why people act like this when people are not the same as them. The difference between people makes the world beautiful, and I wish that people would just be kind and understanding as that would make the world even more beautiful.

If friends are having troubles, it is friendly for them to talk to you about it directly- not behind backs… you don’t deserve that. You deserve to be understood and accepted and I’m sorry that is something these people are not giving you.

I have also been there with friendships where I put in time and effort and it just doesn’t work out unfortunately… know you are not alone in that, I think a lot of people struggle with this and it is not ok for these people to be doing this. When I was youngert I would also wish to just have one person, one person who understood, who cared, who listened, who treated me as I treated them. Friendship is a difficult battle, and I wish it was so much easier…

You don’t deserve to be blamed for what others do, that is unreasonable for people to do. Popularity should not have control over anything, but I know it does. I remember one instance in school there was a new kid, and she got accepted into friendship and popularity right away, and it made me feel so frustrated and upset. I wish that popularity did not have controld over the things it unfortunately does.

I understand being afraid to reach out- I have been there at many times in life. It is hard to be open at times, but look at what you have done here! You have been so open and honest, I’m proud of you! I know it is easier online, where you don’t really know anyone… but this is a big step! This is where I personally started, and it has helped me to be more open in my outside life as well. I don’t think you are complaining, your feelings and thoughts are 100% valid.

Please know we are always here to listen, to be a shoulder to lean on. You emotions, feelings, and thoughts are all valid! Please remember that!

You are deserving of happiness and friendship and all good things.

Take it slow my friend,
Lys