I am having an extremely difficult time currently. I am different. I am loud because I am deaf and speak funny. All I have ever wanted in life was a friend. Each time I have had a friend, my family has gotten involved, and taken that from me. I had a good friend once who dated a family member who I thought was my best friend and lied about it. At one point, all of my friends have complained about me. It feels right now, everyone is stabbing me in the back, spreading so much hatred about me, when I have tried to stop talking about others, but then they talk about me.
I have put my trust and value in the wrong people. People who said that they were my friends ultimately betrayed my trust, too, and gossiped about me, too. Why is it so hard just to want one friend who doesn’t make fun of me because I’m different? Why is it so hard not to want to be blamed for what others are doing, but it’s okay because they are more popular than me? I’m afraid to reach out to anyone that I’m still struggling when I feel like they are sick of me complaining.
2 Likes
Hello, I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I’m not really old enough to know that much but I just wanted to tell you that you aren’t alone. If it helps I want you to know that I also used to have a hard time making friends. Every time I tried to start a conversation on with someone, it just seems like I’m boring them the more I spoke. Reaching out to people has also been a hard thing for me lately and I totally relate with you. Making friends might be hard for you now, but just know that in the future it will get better. I may not be someone you know but I will be cheering on for you. You’re really cool for letting out your feelings and expressing your thoughts like this. Good luck on your journey of making real friends 
1 Like
Hi @Supergirl,
The last few weeks I made some new friends and went with my gut. I also set some boundaries with them because I need my alone time. It’s hard to make friends due to different interests and opinions. There was online group that I joined to find new friends.This year I was super fortunate to make two friends online out of luck. Some people are too complicated and reject if you talk something boring. That’s just ludicrous to me. In real life, you will introduce yourself by greetings.
I noticed my past friendship failed for numerous of reasons. Sometimes I feel it was my fault but it can be them too. This is the same pattern on what I noticed from my toxic friends. How can you be friends with someone if you aren’t open-minded? Why would you make excuses not to hang out with me? Do you know that people gossip about me because of your actions? The ghosting from my ex-friends still bother me this day. My sister used social media more than me. She will tell me everything that my ex-friend post in social media. It’s sad how they make new friends after they ghost me. It’s all in the past for me. I just got to focus on my current friend in which it’s doing pretty well.
I totally agreed with @HeheKe7. A good friend will always be open-minded & support your mental health. I’m still working on making new friends too. You aren’t alone. I feel like I’m boring person sometimes and that it’s okay. I hope you are able to make friends in the future.