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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Hot To Be Me by Ren Ft Chinchilla
I know you’re on a personal care break right now and I definitely appreciate/understand that. I also know that tagging @HeartSupport in the comments gets something noticed flagged whatever, so here I go.
I’m in an okay place now, so no worries there. But I know the darkness of which Ren sings/speaks at the end of this song so well. In my near half-century on this rock, I’ve suffered far too many losses. Two friends to ; too many to cancer. Two to addiction. Some to violence. Many to old age.
But the moment. That hit me, that knocked my world off it’s axis, and sent me into a downward spiral that I’m only just coming out of (I am in therapy at present thankfully!), was the sudden and unexpected loss of my father in Sep 2023. Nothing can prepare you for the loss of a parent. When it’s sudden, it really does just upend your entire being. After that loss, the downward spiral, the how can I go on, the envy of him for moving on, yeah it was a dark place.
But sis and I, and dad’s partner, are all here for each other. And we all know how to talk about our emotions, openly and honestly. We’ve all been through therapy and acquired such valuable skills from it. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but it gave us the tools we needed to get through, and help each other through. We shared many deeply spiritual moments.
But now, over a year later, although I am doing better and coming out of the darkness, the loss still feels like it’s yet to sink in, like it isn’t real. I don’t know if this will change, I suspect it will remain with me forever, as part of the human experience, which is so very much about our emotions, and the bonds we form with others on this journey of life.
Peace to all my brothers sisters and others of this shared Earth of ours!