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Belongs to: Therapist gets Sober by Tool
I listen to Green Day all night long. I play it threw a 500 watt system any time between Midnight and 6AM. This is also when I am doing some good Bong Hits. Because of this I am sleeping all day and I can not do things that need to get done.
I’m a huge fan of Green Day music. They have a lot of famous songs. My favorite song from Green Day is American Idiot. I just love to listen rock music everyday. What is your favorite song from Green Day?
I’m just have a few questions. Is the bong is giving you sleeping issues or stress reliever? Do you sleep all day due to mental or physical health issues? I need a context to help you the best I can. Why do you believe that you aren’t getting things done? What are ways to keep you motivated to complete task? Sometimes rewarding yourself makes you feel better and motivated. I’m concerned with sleeping all day as friend.
Honestly, listening to your favorite band and blast their music can be such a powerful and releasing experience. Music also has a different flavor when listened to at night… To me personally, it helps me soothe some emotions that I have a hard time coping with and other times it helps me, on the contrary, to reconnect with myself in ways I can’t during the day. I would imagine that, for you, this is an added outlet to make you feel a certain way while you are doing bong hits. It enhances your experience and make it more intense or even just interesting.
It sounds like this has been a difficult cycle for you to find yourself in though, and that makes sense. I hear what you say about the consequences it has on your daily life and the fact that it forces you to sleep in order to recover. It’s definitely the kind of pattern that could make you feel like you are stuck and meant to repeat the same behaviors over and over and over. It’s like something has taken control of you and you can only repeat the same each time you wake up. It becomes your fundamental way to cope with life and the pressure that comes with it.
When I was in the deepest and darkest spots of my depression, I’ve definitely experienced feeling stuck in a spiral of unhealthy habits that would affect my sleeping, my health, my emotions and my life as a whole. It’s hard to see yourself in this kind of cycle and feeling somehow helpless. There is a voice in the back of your mind that pushes you to keep surrendering to the same decision each time you face the choice of shifting your trajectory or repeating the same as yesterday. There is something comforting in the act of sabotating ourselves somehow - at least, that’s something we have control over.
I’m sorry friend that this is a place you’ve been eventually feeling stuck in. I want to encourage you to not lose sight of the fact that this does not define you or your value as a human being. We all do things that we may not be proud of and failing does not make us a failure. It’s actually very strong that you recognize the pattern and are aware that this is what is happening right now. Overnight changes may not be possiblewhen it’s about addressing our pain but I absolutely believe in you and in your ability to shift this cycle to something more healthy and fulfilling for you over time.
There is a unique beauty in you that you deserve to see, without the pressure of feeling that you would eventually have to run away from yourself or from your life. You matter very much.