I lived 23 yrs untreated and when i finally was of

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Belongs to: Therapist want to be Happy. By NF
I lived 23 yrs untreated and when i finally was offered help i was paralyzed by fear that i wouldnt even be myself anymore with the meds and everything. It is true, without my blackhole deep depression i found i couldnt write anymore and that hurt. But even with that part of me gone, i had convinced myself that my sons deserved to know which mom they were getting moment to moment. I also deserved to know who’s voice i was hearing in my head, did i mention my diagnosis? Lol. Ill do that another time if anyone is interested.

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The fear that meds will alter who you are or take away who you are is so real. I remember a time of my life I was on antidepressants and felt like my “spark” was gone. That “spark” was bipolar symptoms creating instability and the meds helped me level-out. It can feel complicated to lose both of those parts of who you are-- the spark and the darkness-- but you haven’t lost the core of who you are- a loving and caring mother, artist, and beautiful person. I would love to hear your story and what has brought you here. You and your kids deserve that stability and I’m so proud that you’re taking those steps toward treatment and healing!

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I’m so glad you reached out and shared your story! I can totally understand the fear of a new diagnosis and taking meds and having to learn how to move forward feeling differently. Even though you may not be able to write in the same way , you still have your gift, perhaps it’s just a matter of time before you discover your new voice! As a mom of two boys myself, I commend you for bravely seeking help and you should be proud of doing that for your kids! I hope you continue to reach out and be brave and that you will soon find your voice! Perhaps your story is meant to be shared to provide encouragement to others! I’m rooting for you!!

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