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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to How Could You Leave Us by NF
I lost my aunt to drugs and pills and they sent her to the hospital and Not keeping her 48 hours. I wish they were on their way home. She had a stroke and then went off. The got airlifted the bostand before. I even got to see her. She died on the operating table. And I can’t forget myself. I wish I could just go back just to see her.
And say Goodbye to her the right way before sbefore. She went on the operating table. At Heart support
I am truly sorry for your loss friend, it sounds like it was so sudden and a complete shock to you. There is no easy fix when it comes to grief and the will to be able to go back in time and do things differently is all part of that process. I can promise you with my hand on my heart that your Aunt holds no malice towards you for not seeing her just before she went into surgery. I would imagine that your Aunt whom you clearly loved very much would have not wanted you to see her after a stroke but to remember her as she was, she knows how loved by you she was and how much she is missed. These feelings do not fade quickly, guilt plays a big part of grief as does denial and anger ending eventually in acceptance. There are no rules for how you manage that and in what timeframe, There is no right or wrong way to go about it and if you are struggling please do not be afraid to go to your doctor or ask to see a grief counsellor to help you through, many do and say how helpful it is. We of course at Heartsupport are always here for you. Please know that you are loved Lisa. x
I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. I can totally understand where you’re coming from. You didn’t expect to lose her so suddenly, and you wish you could have done more, but at that moment you did everything you could. Everything that happened was out of your hands, but the memories you have of your aunt are something that will never be taken away from you <3
I cannot imagine the regret that the grief has brought you here. I hope that in time you can believe me that it wasn’t your fault that you weren’t there before your aunt passed. There was no way you could have known her condition would change so quickly or whether the doctors could even say that your aunt was in a stable enough state to receive any visits at the time. Your aunt is an amazing person because she means so much to you and you deserve to keep her in your memory and let the good times you had with her fuel you.
I’m sorry to hear about your recent loss, and also’ it’s sudden nature. The passing of a loved on is also difficult to deal with but it can make it more difficult to come to terms with when it happens unexpectedly and suddenly, and when we don’t get any closure to say goodbye.
Maybe writing a heartfelt letter to her to let your feelings out and say all that you wish you could have said, and reading it to her in spirit could be of some help. There are people that find activities like this helpful in getting the goodbye they didn’t have (or some semblance of it).
Overall, grief can be such an overwhelming feeling and emotion. Through it all, please remember to be gentle with yourself, to take your time to process and to and feel whatever emotions may come up, to take things day by day at your own pace.
And know truly friend, that your aunt knows your heart, knows that you love her, and knows that it was not your fault and things were completely out of your hands that you did not get to say goodbye.
I’m wishing you the best and sending you tlc during this time!
