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Belongs to: Andrew Tkaczyk from The Ghost Inside talks about one of the darkest times in his life
I love @illgrip 
- I struggle massively with my mental health, it’s keeping me off work and I’m struggling day to day wanting to be here at all. Don’t have any real friends I can count on. Feel very alone & such an outsider. Can’t sleep, over & under eating. TGI honestly is quite frankly one of a very few things that’s keeping me alive. Life is fucking hard x
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@ryanxunwin We’re all worth it.
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Yeah, hard when it feels like there’s nothing you’ve got to hold onto. You show up at work and it’s like having this rush of expectations and this constant threat of failure, like you’re going to break down, and you know you can’t hold yourself up, so it’s easier to hide from it. Every day feels like being haunted by all of these thoughts and emotions and memories and regrets and self-hate. Compound that with you don’t really have any friends you can count on - who could handle this kind of weight? Who would care and not feel like a burden? Who could be there for me when it feels like my constant is so weighed down? So hard. Because then you go through life and it feels like you’re the only one. Everyone else is fucking fine, and you’re here breaking down daily. It affects your sleep and your eating. Brutal. It’s like - what do I even do? It feels like if I face my life, I feel like I’m going to die. But if I avoid my life, I’m left alone with my thoughts, which makes me feel like I’m going to die. It feels like a pinball game just bouncing between bad alternatives and trying to keep from getting dropped into the pit. But it’s like you’re trying to do the game with only one of the “paddles”, solo’ing your own buoyancy because you don’t have anyone who has your back. It’s like - how do I get better? How do I make all of the pain stop? ← and how do I answer this question in a healthy way that isn’t just giving up? Feels hard to handle that alone - and so you’re just treading water to keep breathing.