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I love this song but it kills me every time I see this video. My wife and I are still young but in the back of my mind I know that some day one of us will probably have to watch the other die and I really don’t know how I’m ever going to handle that.
I hear you on that. Gosh it’s so intimidating and frightening to have this consciousness of our finiteness, and to think about it when it comes to the people we share our life with…Your significant other is life ally, someone who gets to learn to know you in ways no one else will, someone you don’t need to wear any mask with… It’s a very special type of bond and authenticity. It’s so precious, so strong, yet thinking about the inevitable time of when one would disappear, makes it seem so fragile suddenly. My partner and I have just reached our 13 yrs together, and to be honest the thought you have, as well as the fears that go with it, is something that often strikes me. I used to brush that thought off quickly, but somehow it’s still there, no matter what. Just the thought of knowing that one day one would have to face the death of the other feels unbearable. It feels so distant - like it’s about another life, some kind of bad nightmare, but not something that would happen right here in this life. Sigh.
It’s both a curse and a privilege, isn’t it? To have that capacity of awareness, as human beings. A curse because it feels deeply frightening and paralyzing. Yet at the same time it holds power for movement - towards more love, more affection, more care, more intention in the time we spend with our significant other. When you think about it, there is also something absolutely beautiful and astonishing in the fact that you got to meet your wife and that you do share this very life together. What were the odds? Just pure magic and beauty. And somehow, maybe there’s comfort to find in that. In cherishing and honoring the present moment with them, as much as possible, and especially because we never know what tomorrow will be made of. Oftentimes, when I fear the possibility of death and loss, I try to remind myself that it can also be seen as an invitation for more presence, and to live more intentionally - especially in connection with others. There is something beautiful in not taking anything or anyone for granted, and embracing the beauty that is, right now, in the present moment. After all, when I look at my partner, I also feel like his smile is an expression of an eternity. It removes the fears, the uncertainties, and ground me in the present - where we belong. <3