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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to BLACK by PearlJam
I love this song. Me and my fiance use to listen to this song all the time. Little did I know that one day I would have to listen to it by myself now. I didn’t know that I WOULD LOOSE HER and now I TOTALY FEEL LOST. Sometimes I think about ending it so that I can be with her but i just keep struggling…i lost her and she was only 42 and now I don’t know how to or whether to go on without her.
I’m so sorry for your loss. But I can tell you that you absolutely should go on. Life can be so unfair sometimes. This happens to be one of my all-time favorite songs. There was a time, however, that I had to take a break from listening to it. It brought back some memories I was not ready to face head on. That break allowed me to process without being overcome with emotions. It took some time, but I got there. And I know for sure that you can, too. I don’t know if taking break from this song is what you should or shouldn’t try, but it did help me, and now I can listen to it and take in those memories with sweetness instead of sorrow. It sounds like the two of you had a beautiful relationship. I would bet that she would want to you move forward and find joy again. I would suggest maybe finding a grief support group, as well. Whatever you choose, I pray you choose life. As hard as it can be, it is always worth living.
My friend, my heart goes out to you. What a massive dashing of your hopes and dreams, leaving you feeling broken and lost. Here was the person you were supposed to spend a life with, only for that future to be cut short. Everything you had built together, all seemingly taken away too soon. The pain of grappling with that loss must be immense, and I wish I could give you something more than these words to help you navigate this grief.
The weight of this loss must feel like an avalanche, fully overtaking you and trapping you, just leaving you to suffocate. The grief rolls over us and it feels like we are buried deeper and deeper, but I want you to know that it can’t defeat you. Though the snow may be deep and the grief may lie heavy, I hope you know that you are not alone in it. There are so many people, including this community at HeartSupport, who love you and want to help dig you out. Your life is not meant to end in this avalanche of loss. Just by you reaching out here, I see sunlight poking through to you through the snow. Simply the fact that you are reaching out to share your story is cause for celebration because you know that there is hope for things to get better. If you didn’t believe that you could make it through, you wouldn’t go through the trouble of commenting on this video.
There is hope for you, and even though digging out of this avalanche may take a long time, and even once you’re out you may still be periodically finding snow in your gloves and boots- you are making progress. You can go on without her. Just by living each and every day you are able to carry on her memory and shine her light to every person you meet. You carry the memory of her wherever you go, and that is something that no one can take from you. This avalanche of grief is not your end. There is so much more waiting for you in this life, and I implore you to stick around the experience it. Carry on your fiance’s memory and show the world the love that she showed you. This grief cannot overpower you. Don’t let this loss define you. Let it direct you as you continue to move through this life and show love to the people around you.
I commend you for opening up and seeking help- that is a step that many never take. We are here for you and care deeply for you. If you ever need more support, please don’t hesitate to reach out again. You are loved so much more than you can know, and I pray that you feel that love more and more every day.