I’m 30 and still feel like high school emo kid

Lately I been feeling lonely, still have my V- card( I know it not a big deal) living with my parents with no girlfriend and only 2 friends. I’m in spectrum and feel people in society hate people that are austic, dyslexic, or any learn disabilitiy. Hated in the metal scene and everyone hates my music. Having so called friends lie to me, use me as door mate and mental abuse me.

With covid been feel more lonely, lost and hated. I try everything to be at least an okay person, I know perfect and have done a lot terrible shit. However, I know people that done worst thing than me and I get sent to chopping block.

Just I want go on social media and say “fuck you all, I don’t deserve this hate, my music is not that bad and fuck all for judge me” I wish we could more compassion for each other and judge one of other.


I’m sorry to read that you are feeling so lonely and hated. Unfortunately, many people default to hating things that they don’t understand. I assure you that there are good people out there that will see you for who you are and will not try to abuse or take advantage of you. You took a good step in finding them by coming to the heartsupport community! You are loved and you are worthy, even if you might not be feeling it from those around you. Play your music loud if it makes you happy and just keep striving to be your best you.

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Hey @Metalskater1990

I’m curious why you’re feeling the need for so much connection to others and their approval. While it’s a super common thing to feel, for some reason I feel like you might be putting a bit too much importance on that. Being happy and fulfilled alone is a wonderful thing to strive for, and even attracts people to you because they see your confidence!

Personally, I have very few who I consider friends, and all of them are online even, but I value my time alone and the introspection that comes with it, and I value the quality of my friends, not the quantity.

I may be totally off here, but that’s the vibe I got for some reason so I hope you give it a thought at least :slight_smile: take care

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I understand how you feel, I am also mistreated like that. I know I’m just gonna be stuck like a kid in my brain forever. I also write music, and somepeople hate it and I stay up nights crying about how no one appreciates my repetitive music, even when the tune is beautiful. But my sister always loves it. My sister is there for me. And believe it, I appreciate you. I understand how you feel, even if our situations aren’t quite the same. :heart: Keep living :green_heart: Keep growing stronger, you can PM me if you want to talk.

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