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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Daddy By Korn
I’m 42. This happened to me done by a supposed friend of the family when I was 5. My parents never knew. He tried to do things with my sis and another girl in my mom’s friend group and they turned him in. He was arrested and was shanked up in prison. I never said anything until I was around 30 to my parents about it. I spent many years of violence and not trusting people because of it. It still stays with me. I still find it hard to trust people. Made me an alcoholic for many years. I still fight with it
You are so brave for posting this on HeartSupport. That’s awful person doing something inappropriate with your sister and a girl from your mom’s friend group. I’m glad that he is in prison, he totally deserved that. It must have been difficult to deal with violence, you must be traumatize from it. I can relate to your situation. I grew up with toxic and violent people so I had some trust issues too. It took me for many years to moved on my trauma. Trauma never goes away, it is still part of your memory. Don’t let that trauma affect your entire lifestyle. I’m super proud of that are fighting against alcohol addiction.
Take your time to heal, you know when it’s time to moved on! I hope you stay strong!!!
@@HeartSupport it’s been a tough thing to go through for many many years. It didn’t bother me at all when I heard he had been stabbed to death in prison. Other inmates found out he was a pedo. They took him out. It took me a very long time to speak about what happened. In my mind something like that wasn’t supposed to happen to boys. I thought maybe I was all alone in that matter for a long long time.
Hey friend, you can be so proud of yourself for talking about it today. It makes sense though that it took a very long time before you felt like you were able to open up about what happened to you when you were just a child. You’ve been through something absolutely traumatic, something that no one should ever go through. It was a brutal event that you could not be prepared for, even less when it comes to finding the right words to talk about it afterwards.
It is so hard how trauma can really shape the way we view ourselves as a result, how we view others too, our life in general and existence as a whole. It must have felt so very lonely for you to walk through all these years without having a space to talk about it. It’s understandable that somehow you found refuge in alcohol in the past, but also that it’s made it really difficult to trust people. It shapes our sense of connection with others - it’s hard to regain a sense of safety when someone who was trusted in the first place was exactly the person who hurt you.
I’ve been myself sexually abused when I was little, and it certainly leaves a type of mark that is carried through the rest of your life - or at least, it feels that way. It becomes a part of your story despite never asking for it. It almost feels like being tainted sometimes. Which makes it hard to see yourself beyond it, to not let it become your full story and identity.
My heart really goes out to you. I imagine all the days you’ve spent feeling profoundly alone and isolated, all the tears that were shed to this pain that you should have never felt. When it feels like there is no one to support you after something like this, you learn to rely on yourself and avoid welcoming anyone into your life again. If anything, the fact that you allow yourself to be vulnerable here and have practiced over the years to talk about what happened, as well as how it affects you, is a deep mark of growth and healing. You are not letting what happen define you, and that is probably the strongest middle finger you could send to the ones that hurt you.
