I feel absolutely awful. Everything i do is either wrong or stupid .Everytime i try to become better or work on myself i end up failing. I couldn’t even get into my preferred college major so i settled for an even harder major that i hate. I can’t understand things fast like most of my peers and i always need someone to help me with something and i’m too afraid of being a burden to someone so i don’t ask for help ever. And when i ask for help or ask a question it’s just so stupid that the person i ask always assumes im stupid and a failure that never studies. I do study but it’s hard when i basically have to teach myself to do everything in a big project in which i am alone. I have assignments due and i cant understand anything about how to solve them. This is made worse by the fact that i have to stay at home and can’t ask for help from anyone.
What makes all of this worse is the fact that i’m a huge burden on my family and friends. I feel like all my friends just put up with me out of pity and my family always yells at me for being depressed. I can’t even cry without making my family feel burdened and then they tell me that i’m too weak and there are people with much harder lives than me. But i’m still so pathetic that i go to them when i cry because i need someone to talk to and all my friends either don’t even like me, or are too busy with their lives to listen to someone like me. I don’t have any value and probably never will. I’m stupid and unattractive and introverted and shy and i do things sometimes that hurt other people unintentionally, then end up realizing i must’ve hurt them and crying about it and not knowing how to properly apologize so i dont even do anything about it. I think i’m a bad person but is there really absolutely no way for me to be a good person? I try but i always always end up failing and i stay worthless and stupid and bad. This might not make sense to anyone but i needed to talk about my feelings, for once, without anyone getting mad at me or being inconvenienced because of me.
Hey friend,
You are awfully hard on yourself. You are none of these things that you have claimed yourself as. Stupid, failure or a burden. Just because you may take a little extra time to understand something, doesn’t make you those things or less valued as a person.
I can understand the self frustration. I have learning disabilities so I take a lot longer to learn and grasp things. I have a hard time holding onto information and often have to ask for someone to explain things to me over and over. I’ve always been that way and I am now 35 almost. I require assistance and help in most things. I promise you’re not alone.
There are some of us that require a little extra help and time with things and that’s okay, friend. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure or stupid. You can’t help that. And you shouldn’t beat yourself up so much. 
Hey, you’re not pathetic and nobody here is going to be mad at you for how you are feeling. We may passionately out of love try to help you understand that you shouldn’t beat yourself up so much. But it’s not out of anger. Ever. It’s important I think to give ourself a little grace, self love and forgiveness. To be gentle with ourselves.
Often is the case that we are our own worst critic and it seems here that you are so down on yourself for needing a little more assistance. And you shouldn’t be I’m sorry that your family hasn’t been more supportive of you. That’s always rough when your own family doesn’t encourage or support you where you need them the most.
But I hope you know that here you are accepted as you are.
Needing help or struggling doesn’t make you a bad person. At all. You are loved. You matter. How you are feeling matters. Your life matters.
hugs
That’s a lot of self-hatred, friend. But I’m glad you allowed yourself to let this out of your chest. It seems that you don’t really have a safe space where you could express yourself right now, so know that you can count the Support Wall as a place where you can talk, anytime you need.
I feel absolutely awful. Everything i do is either wrong or stupid .Everytime i try to become better or work on myself i end up failing.
I’m sorry you’ve been feeling awful. Though in your message you tend to have the wrong conclusions about yourself. The most hurtful ones. A lot of people tend to do the same. Believing some lies about ourselves, for different reasons. I do that too. Some days I feel worthless and I think I can’t bring anything good to anyone. Just yesterday, I felt very deeply that I was a waste of oxygen. It hurts. It made me cry. But it doesn’t mean it’s true. This is about how we feel. Not how things are truly.
You have worth, no matter what. This is the truth. And the things you mentioned in your message are circumstances, difficulties, but nothing that can’t change with time or be improved.
I can’t understand things fast like most of my peers and i always need someone to help me with something and i’m too afraid of being a burden to someone so i don’t ask for help ever. And when i ask for help or ask a question it’s just so stupid that the person i ask always assumes im stupid and a failure that never studies.
First of all, your studies will be useful for you in the future, for sure. But it doesn’t define you. If you succeed, you won’t be the smartest person on Earth. If you don’t, you won’t be a failure either. See studies as a tool. Something that could help you in your life. But certainly not as something that would define your worth or your capacities. I know… it’s really important and we dedicate a lot of energy in those. But still. Your capacity to get a diploma will never define you. It doesn’t mean you can’t be proud of your accomplishments, because of course it has to be celebrate! Just try not to use that as a way to diminish yourself when you are struggling. That’s not fair for you.
Also, studies are made in a certain way. I was a student a few years ago and I realized that it’s not made for everyone. Not because of the content or because of the level of the studies. But simply because there are procedures, specific ways of functioning in college. We are asked to fit in something particular and it’s not easy for everyone. I struggled with that. And I personally didn’t like any of it. I felt like it was too much like: you follow the train or you just go away. Which is violent.
Though, even if you are facing some difficulties with your learnings, it doesn’t mean you can’t succeed or you can’t reach your goals. You said this college is harder than the one you wanted to go at first. Well… that’s something to take in account. I’d like to ask: did you know it was harder when you chose that one? How did you prepare yourself for that?
When you’re facing an obstacle, you can always think about new strategies. Whether it’s to overcome it or follow a new path. You are absolutely not a burden, friend. Please, keep in mind that you are learning, like everyone else. You can’t learn all at once. It’s a process. You feel like you need more time than others? Then reach out. Ask for help. Surround yourself with supportive people, groups, teachers, resources. I know you said that you have to stay at home. But I suppose that you have, at least, some contacts with your teachers or the administration of the college? Also, are there any groups on social medias that you can use to contact others? Do you know anyone who’s doing the same studies - even if you never talk to them?
Also, do you think you could access to any kind of tutoring? Or someone you could pair with so you could learn together? The action of talking about what you’re learning with someone else can be very helpful for some people. Maybe seek for some extra resources as well. There are many useful videos, articles, online books. And we’re lucky enough to have access to all of this nowadays! I don’t know what are your studies, but maybe you could give a try to Google Scholar, Books, Jstor, Openeditions website…
There is not only one way to learn. It’s not just about reading something, understanding then applying. There are many invisible steps between those ones. So right now I can only encourage you to think about what helps you to learn. Whether it’s visual, vocal, written…. You can find the ones that suit you the most. And it’s okay to take your time for that.
Anyways, you are not a burden and you are not stupid. Please hold on to that. You are doing something for yourself right now. You are learning. It’s super awesome! And it’s okay to be discouraged sometimes, but not to trash talk yourself. Because it doesn’t help you, it doesn’t bring anything good, and it’s not fair.
What makes all of this worse is the fact that i’m a huge burden on my family and friends. I feel like all my friends just put up with me out of pity and my family always yells at me for being depressed. I can’t even cry without making my family feel burdened and then they tell me that i’m too weak and there are people with much harder lives than me.
I’m sorry friend. I wish you would be listened more. We don’t choose our family, unfortunately. They should be more supportive and not make you feel guilty because you’re not okay. What they said to you is not loving. They don’t seem to understand what you are going through yet they allow themselves to be judging. 
You are not weak. And there’s nothing to compare to others lives. It doesn’t matter what others are going through. There will always be someone who will have a better life, or a worse one than ours. But does that mean that what we’re going through isn’t important? No, absolutely not.
Your feelings matter friend. Your life matters. Your voice matters. We hear you here. And what you share bravely is considered seriously. I’m sorry you’ve been told those things. But try to keep in mind that it’s not true. This isn’t about you. It’s about the people around you and they are responsible of what they say. You are not a burden.
I’m stupid and unattractive and introverted and shy and i do things sometimes that hurt other people unintentionally, then end up realizing i must’ve hurt them and crying about it and not knowing how to properly apologize so i don’t even do anything about it.
Well, you know apologizing is not easy to do. It’s okay if you don’t know yet how to express that. It can be learned. With time. Through life experiences. When you want to apologize for something - and when it’s justified, not a way to blame yourself for something you didn’t do - then the most important thing is the intention behind. To make sure that it is perceived and understood by the other person.
I think i’m a bad person but is there really absolutely no way for me to be a good person?
I had this same conversation with a dear friend recently. And it’s only my opinion, but I don’t think there are good or bad people. We are all more complex than this. No one is perfect. We all hurt others sometimes, whether it’s intentional or not. We all miss opportunities, fail to reach some goals. But we also hold unique skills, capacities, ways to see and interact with this world. That’s why we are all unique.
You used important words. “I think, I feel”… those are opinions you have about yourself. But again, it doesn’t mean it’s true. You are really hard on yourself friend. And you can’t be resumed as being a “bad person who has no way to be a good person”. The way you see yourself is a matter of perspective and circumstances. Based on what people did or said to you, on your expectations, on your current possibilities or difficulties, your personal story. But also on how much compassion and kindness you will give to yourself. Life is not easy. It’s not a straight path. But you can make this journey easier by treating yourself well. It’s scary to do that. Especially if you’re used to think a lot of negative things about yourself. But I can only encourage you to keep fighting against those lies you are telling about yourself. You are so much more than what you said. So, so much more.
You are loved. 