A lot of the time I think I’m better off gone from this painful life and that nobody would miss me or would care that I’m gone.
Believe it or not a lot of people would be deeply hurt and affected if you did. My wife before she committed thought almost this exact thing and its been almost 4 years now and I still haven’t gotten over it and think of her almost everyday and how much I miss her. Ive been in a bad spot lately too and have seriously been contemplating do it to go and be with her and end my pain. But it would crush so many people around me. So please believe me when I say it wouldn’t go un-noticed. I’m sure there are tons of people that wouldn’t know what to do if you did. Hold fast friend.
I am sorry you are hurting right now. Know that although the pain of this life may seem impossible to handle, nothing would be better off without you. I know it can be hard to see in this moment, but a lot of people deeply care for you. This community loves you and wants to see you succeed. You are never alone and you are very much loved.