I saw your previous post and I am always worried about saying the wrong thing that I seldom reply. I am sorry about that.
Its all right to take a break and do self care if being alone is what you need to feel good. If you are doing it to punish yourself or because you feel like you don’t deserve it then that is far less healthy and you are denying yourself self something you need. If you feel lonely I don’t know if excluding them from your life is a good idea.
I know how frustrating it is to deal with bureaucratic stuff like health plans when you are in a bad place mentally and personally often lose my temper staring at forms or listening to automated systems.
My advice is that trying to date while not feeling well mentally is…it can be a strain on the other person even when they are aware of what they are getting into and just leave you feeling worse and more rejected if it does not last.
I remember in your other post you have a broken finger (I’m sorry by the way) and I can see how that might keep you from boxing, but once it is healed will you still be able to play music? I don’t know if this would be harder for you, but if you still want to be part of fighting there are other aspects of it like training that you might be able to participate in.
It sounds like you have a lot of reason to be angry and frustrated at the situation and that kind of stuff is really easy to direct inward and take out on yourself.
I’m sorry if this is a bad metaphor, but right now you are just taking a break between rounds. Its going to last longer than thirty seconds, but get some water…take some rest…get some advice and coaching and when you feel ready you ring the bell yourself.
Take care of yourself my dude. We will be here for you.