I’ve always kinda really struggled with saying “no” and always pushed myself to my limits or further, because I felt bad and guilty if I wasn’t there for someone. It got to the point of me being completely drained and at the end of my rope with everything, because I used up all my energy to support people who didn’t even appreciate or acknowledge it. And I’m done with that. I’m done with pouring energy into things that are one-sided. And I don’t feel bad anymore saying “no” to someone. I’m not their therapist. I can lend them an ear to listen but I’m done with letting them make me feel as if I’m obligated to help them at all times and as if i need to be the one to find a solution. Not if they only call me up when they need me or won’t be there to care for me in return. That’s not what friendship should be.
Yeah. Friendship isn’t the realtionship when somebody calls you up only whenever they need you.
It’s not once-sided. I agree with you.
Congrats for acknowledging your own limits and for deciding to respect them. Learning to say “no” can be hard for everyone, especially if people around you are used to hear you say “yes”, but they’ll learn just like you do. Not only this will serve you in the long run, but it will also serve others too. The way we take care of ourselves is also reflected in our ability to be supportive, and how.
Proud of you for standing up for yourself and being in tune with your own limits. Being drained constantly is not a way to live. There is a healthier balance to find. I wish you well on creating this new balance that you don’t only need, but also deserve.
Beautiful progress, friend.
It’s totally okay to say no. If you feel things are one-sided or the person that is coming to you is taking more than giving then by all means take a step back and think it over. The best advice I can give is before you help someone, especially someone that is always taking from you, check in with yourself. This can be, “How am I feeling/doing today? Do I have the energy to do XYZ? Am I totally okay and comfortable with what is being asked of me or what they want or need from me?” Before you can help and be there for someone else, it is important to check in with yourself to make sure you are okay. If you don’t take care of yourself it will be difficult to look after or try to help someone else. It’s not being selfish it’s being able to take care of yourself. At the end of the day if you are feeling drained by other people and they do nothing to help you then it’s not worth it to get involved. It’s okay to say no and it’s okay to check in with yourself.