I’m having dark fansty/ I’m really scare and upset

I’m really hurt about my friend leaving me. I want to hurt her in worst way and I can’t stop these feelings. I’m feeling very suicidal and I just end my pain. I feel that all women hate and I’m going die alone.

I try to radically accept, but I can’t stop these intense feeling of hatred and sorrow. My shadow is so dark, it going to take over. I don’t know what to do.

I love her, but hate her at the same time. I’m so fucking hurt by her, our friendship was a fucking lie and just never get close to another woman again. They just hurt me mental so bad.

I hate these voice in my head telling me to do these awful things. To a person that I love and care for. It like I wish she never came into my life.


The voice in your head doesn’t own you, and can’t control you. It also views life through a very distorted and negative perception.

Do you really believe that? When a person shows kindness, is it a lie? Did she hurt you, or is it the separation that hurts?

That voice isn’t who you are. Don’t bother hating it, because it doesn’t deserve the power to force you to have such a powerful emotion. Withdraw all power from the voice. When it comes, say something to the effect, “I hear you, but you deserve about as much consideration as a fart in a windstorm.”

Don’t hate people who were kind to you, then backed away. They tried, and for whatever reason, decided to gain some distance. It doesn’t make them bad people.

It sounds like you’re a very intense person. Others can find that intimidating. If they sense that you’re becoming “clingy,” odds are that will scare them away. It doesn’t work out very well to pretend that you’re not clingy. You need to genuinely, willingly and compassionately, be ready to let people seek their happiness, even if it doesn’t include you. Developing that capacity will go a long way toward helping you feel peaceful inside.

Love people for who they are, instead of how willing they are to bend to your will.

You develop strong attachments. They happen too quickly. It’s hard to let go of them. It’s not her fault.

It’s commonly believed that guys never really get over lost relationships, but the sense of loss eventually combines with appreciation for the good moments. There’s a blessing contained within the loss. Every time it happens an opportunity to gain wisdom occurs. That increases the odds that the next relationship will be better.

My wife divorced when she was young because her husband cheated. She stayed single for 7 years. She did some dating, but being with the guys didn’t “feel right” to her. I bugged her for a while, seeking an explanation as to why she chose to stick with me. She just said, “well, you’re different.” I think it just goes to show that for some people, the “spark” that leads to romance can be quite rare. I was alone for years before meeting her too.

Anyway, just because you haven’t found the right person yet doesn’t mean that you won’t.

Take care, Wings


From: Rohini_868

I’m glad that you can voice what you’re feeling (that you’re angry, hurt, etc). These are really huge emotions, and they’re really difficult ones to have.

Your friend has not stopped being friends with you, she asked for some space and some time to think. That is not her leaving you or rejecting your friendship. It’s always tricky when we “catch feelings” for a friend, but you also knew she had a partner. It’ll be tough, but things will get better.

You’ve been working really hard on yourself, and you deserve to be here just like anyone else of us. You feel hurt, and I think you want her to see that. Hurting yourself isn’t the solution. Give her some time. Keep working with your therapist, keep posting here. You’re strong and you can survive this, friend. Stay strong! You matter and you’re important to us here!

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hey again, Metalskater <:hrtLegoLove:390927785717137409> I know you’ve posted about this a couple other times this past week and I know you are hurting a lot right now but I wish you could find a path to depend more on yourself for some of your happiness and confidence rather than how you believe other people see you. I don’t believe your friendship was a lie. Based on what you used to say about her and how she treated you in the past, before these dark emotions took over, it was easy to see she truly cared about you and maybe still does. It isn’t about a romantic thing for her, she always saw you as a friend it sounds like and I know that can be so difficult when you develop romantic feelings for a friend and they do not return them but that does not make the friendship a lie. And if she set boundaries with you and had to back away from your friendship I know that stinks but that doesn’t mean she never cared about you.

Wings point about not hating people who were kind to you is a great thing to say and I hope you listen to what was said. People do not have to be kind, they choose to be kind and that kindness should never be overlooked.

I hope that you can find some peace, friend :hrtlegolove: