From dark_kit78383: I’ve gotten to a point where I’m so close to hurting myself. I have no desire to live anymore but i don’t want to die either.
I’m in a program at the hospital near me, and they are keeping me from discharge cuz im a danger to myself. They are thinking of me going into inpatient.
I myself am thinking of going into inpatient. My mom is considering me going inpatient.
Only reason im not in inpatient is cuz all they are gonna do is keep me locked up and under supervision 24/7 until they think i wont hurt myself and make me go through partial and intensive outpatient program again.
There is no point to this. My body is killing itself all on its own and i have no way of preventing it. Because every single time i do, i get hurt.
I don’t think i can take anymore of this. Im literally going insane…! How am i ever going to make it out of this…?
You will make it through, friend. Even if right now the whole situation feels completely hopeless and leaves you feeling helpless too. Right now, you are in good hands, and with the staff there as well as your mom, it sounds like you have people around you who see you, who hear your pain and are willing to support you as much as possible.The fact that you are also aware that now may not be an appropriate time to leave the hospital is also very strong of you. For what it’s worth, we’re all so very proud of you here for getting the support you need, especially when your safety is at stake. It’s not easy to welcome like this in our life - but you are doing it, and that is very brave of you.
You are in the belly of the beast at the moment, and it makes sense to have a hard time seeing any hope of positive perspective coming out of this. It’s going to be a slow process, one that requires to take things progressively - one step at a time. I wholeheartedly believe in you and your ability to make through this rough time, to keep welcoming help in your life, and to hopefully make the best out of the partial/outpatient program that would follow your time being inpatient. These procedures and professional support are designed to make this process as progressive as possible, and to support you every step of the way.
I understand how this can all feel overwhelming and discouraging right now. There will be light at the end of this tunnel, friend. You will learn to get back on your feet again, little by little. We’re all rooting for you.
Firstly, I’m not gonna duplicate what @Micro has said. He gave you some great advice
I want to firstly remind you that your feelings are 100% valid, and that you’ve shown immense strength by opening up about these struggles you share. It sounds like you’re in an incredibly difficult place right now, feeling trapped between wanting relief from the pain but also not wanting to end your life. Having thoughts about wanting to go inpatient can be overwhelming, but hospital can help you get on a more healthy track to recovery.
You’re already under a professional program at the hospital, which is great. However, going into inpatient care could provide you with the intensive care and supervision needed to keep you safe during this challenging time. You may feel like there’s no point in this, however where recovery is concerned there is always a point. Those who love and care about you just want to see you well. Being admitted may be a starting hope for healing and recovery.
It’s also crucial to continue communicating with your healthcare providers and loved ones about how you’re feeling. They’re there to support you and help you navigate through this difficult period. Remember to take things one step at a time and be gentle with yourself. You’re stronger than you realize, and with the right support and resources, you can make it through this challenging time.
From mbarry.: Your post is honest and brave. You are loved by your mother to start, and I believe some professionals who have chosen their field of expertise because they want to help you. Sincerely. So, you are not alone. I encourage you to trust and take one single moment at a time. Make a good decision for yourself right now, even if it is to recognize that you actually want to live. There is a reason for that – you are worthy. One small celebration of truth at a time and they will grow bit by bit.
