Hey guys. I’m new here and in a pretty low place right now. So I figured I’d give this community a try.
So recently I’ve been dealing with a back injury and it’s been pretty tough. I suffer from depression and anxiety so being hurt seems like the end of everything to me. Ive been to the chiropractor and it seems like it’s not helping.
This is just making me so sad. I’m not myself. I don’t eat. All I do is cry. And I think the worst possible thoughts. I’m trying to stay positive because I know it’s effecting my parents but I can’t keep it in. I’m just so over being in pain and feeling helpless. I also don’t want my thoughts to get any darker than they are. I’ve never been suicidal because death scares me. Like everything does. But lately I’ve just been getting deeper and deeper into this depressive state and I just wanna be normal.
I’m exhausted. Lonely. Sad. And feel like the worst daughter to have in the world. I feel empty.
I’m so so sorry you’re dealing with this back injury and that it’s affecting your mental health. It sounds like not being able to do what you’re used to, due to the back injury, is the root of the problem.
How long have you been seeing the chiropractor? Maybe it will just take a little bit of time for it to star helping. I know I used to go to one when I played soccer, but it usually took more than just a few sessions for me to really start noticing a difference.
Maybe you could ask your parents if you could see a therapist of counselor? It may help. I know that it helps me a lot. It sounds like you’re a very active person and not being able to be as active is taking its toll. That’s very understandable, but maybe you could try finding some hobbies to do that don’t involved being as active, i.e. drawing or gaming or playing an instrument or something like that.
I hope this helps some, remember we are always here for you. We love you. We support you. You’re absolutely not alone. I hope you feel better soon.
Somewhat recently I was in a similar situation. I was diagnosed with Epstein Bar Virus and was suffering from chronic fatigue as a result of it. My girlfriend broke up with me at that time, and I went from being able to train,study and socialize to barely managing to attend a lecture a day. Due to the fact that I am an incredibly ambitious person, I was in a really dark place.I felt completely helpless and worthless, I felt as though everything I had been working towards had been in vain.
What helped my through is making the decision in my heart to do what I needed to do to move forward. I had to push my pride aside and accept that I was far weaker and less capable than what I wanted to be. When my body cried out for rest, I relented (even if it meant getting 15 hours of sleep a day). It was incredibly difficult to stay positive and truth be told I was not a positive or happy person during that time.
But I did’t give up and with time, things became better. The small steps I took towards recovery gradually compounded and I now am close to the level I once was before I get sick.
I know how difficult it is to press on when you feel that helpless, but you need to push through. Remember that we are more than just a body, if anything our greatest assets are our minds. Strength of mind and strength of will are what push us through when our body gives in, and so don’t think for a second that a physical injury negates your entire worth. You have much more to offer than just what your body can provide.
Take the small steps that you need to, rest when you feel called to and train/stretch as you have been advised to. Healing is a process and the best way we can speed it up is through consistency and a positive attitude towards it.
Things may be low for you right now but thankfully life is an ultra-marathon as opposed to a sprint. The mental and spiritual fortitude that you can develop from this experience will make you a far stronger person, so I urge you not to give up.
Things often need to get worse before they will get better, but rest assured that they can get better.
Thank you so much for replying. You have no idea how much this means to me.
And you’re right I am a very active person, for the past like 5 years I’ve never missed a day at the gym. I haven’t worked out in over 5 weeks and it’s taking its toll on me.
I’ve only been seeing the chiropractor for 2 days. I know, not enough time. I just had a pop in my back today after my first visit and he said it’s normal. But this doesn’t feel normal. It hurts. My mom had to help take me a shower. And my movement is restricted. But my anxiety is telling me it’s all these other bad things. And the thoughts keep getting dark.
I’m 22 and unemployed so it’s taking a financial toll on my parents which only makes me feel more of a burden to them. I can’t seem to catch a break. It just feels like one bad thing after another.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply to my story. Thank you for being here at a time I feel so lost and alone.
I truly thought I was alone and maybe wouldn’t find help or support here. This was a last result to hold on to the last of my positivity.
It is hard and I feel like a burden to everyone around me. It doesn’t help that my anxiety always has me thinking the worst possible thoughts on this injury.
Your words give me courage and hope. And a little bit of tears as well. I wasn’t expecting any responses. Thank you so much for these words and your story. I hope I can continue through this and keep my head in a good space. And make a full recovery soon.
You are never ever a burden, dear one. I know that your anxiety and depression tells you that you are, but I promise you that is a lie. You are worthy of the love and care that is shown to you. Don’t ever be afraid to express yourself of ask for help or admit you’re having a hard time.
That’s something that took a long time for me to learn. I live with depression, anxiety, a panic disorder, and trauma/ptsd, so I absolutely understand that feeling. I know it’s hard to feel like you’re worth being listened to, but I promise you are.
You’re so strong and you are so brave. Life gets really hard, and we don’t know what’s going to come around the corner. But I promise, no matter what comes next HS will always be a community that you can come to and feel safe in.