I am young. I am around nearly 15 years old. I’ve dealt with experiencing different mental difficulties such as extreme paranoia, deep sadness, loneliness, and anger issues. I’ve attempted to starve myself to be thinner like the other kids at school when I was in junior school. I think about bad things. I sometimes feel so alone and sad I can’t even describe how I feel. It’s the feeling of numbness. And when I feel this way all I want is to be alone. I can’t deal with people or socializing like normal teenagers because I’m not like them. They treat me like I’m an animal. I feel like a living joke to them. They lie, call me names, make fun behind my back, leave me out of things, and I never feel like I can trust anyone. If I talk to someone even a close friend about it I feel like it’ll hurt them or it will just make things in our friendship worse or they will get sick of me and hope I die. I’ve attempted suicide a few times, and have marks on my arms from an incident that happened to me not so long ago. My moods can drift from being ok right to wanting to throwing myself off a bridge in seconds. I know teenagers claim they’re depressed and mood swings are common in growing up. But these emotions I am experiencing are not mere mood swings or just being sad. When I did cut my arms, I did not feel pain or agony. I felt nothing.
I am so so sorry things are hard and you are struggling so much. Have you been able to talk to an adult or mentor or teacher? It’s definitely okay to ask for help. I wish I didn’t wait so long to get the help I needed. Maybe you could find a counselor. I know it’s scary but it’s possible to find help for these issues. I’m sorry you feel like you can’t trust people your age. Just know you aren’t alone. Alot of people especially in high school don’t talk about their mental health but a lot of people struggle with it. High school can be a very challenging time. Hope you will keep reaching out on here. It takes a lot of courage but can bring some good people who can support you. Keep trying to push forward. Hope things get better for you.
Hi @Kyqke01
When I read your words, it felt like reading my own story. I have been there too and I want to tell you that I’m deeply sorry that you’re going through all of that.
I know it doesn’t help when someone says they’re sorry for how you feel, but I want to let you know that you are not alone and that there is hope for you and all of us.
When I was in your situation just a few years ago, I thought I would never make it to my next birthday, let apple ever turn 18 years old.
Now I’m standing here, 21 years old and I can say that I’m okay.
I believe that you can get through this, I believe in you.
You made a huge step in being open here and sharing, I’m really proud of you.
We are all here to help and support you. Please feel free to message me and reach out to the community when you need help or want to talk.
You are so valuable and loved, it hurts us to see you hurting.
You’re not alone my friend, you have a place to fit in now, we are here for you.
Fiji
I know you’re only about to be 15 but you honestly have a long and prosperous life ahead of you you see I’m in my early thirties now and from the age of 6 to 18 I went through 98 group homes and Foster homes in California it took me years to accept the fact that I was never meant to fit in and that I was able to overtime Embrace being unique I think it’s safe to say accept you for you even if nobody else does I accept you and you’re way too young to be so hard on yourself it is not your fault that your peers just aren’t open-minded enough to understand your unique Journey I remember what my journey was like and I do my best to never forget where I come from I remember crying out for help and no one listening so please understand your cries for help are not being ignored you are loved you are cared for one step at a time is all it takes even if the steps feel like you’re crawling you got support from me little brother stay strong and never give up
Thank you. I really appreciate your support and it’s acc nice to know that now finally for once on this site my voice is heard and I don’t have to feel worried that I’ll hurt others. Thank you so much
I’m sorry to hear you had to go through such things as me when you were young. And I appreciate your kindness and time you have put into responding to me on this. My best friend recommended this website to me after helping me through various breakdowns, and well it’s one of the best things to help. Thank you so much for this and I’ll never forget it
Thank you so much. Words cannot explain of how grateful I am for the words you have given me. I look for no pity on this site. I just seek of help that will not give the hassle of going to a doctor and my parents having to go through rough times with my unstable mind. But I thank you for your reply and I greatly appreciate what you have done for me
I appreciate your thanks I’m only doing what I can to make this world a brighter and more balanced place seeing as when I was your age I didn’t really have a whole lot of people to point me in the right direction guide me or anything you might call parental so of course it’s my honor that I’m helping you in any way I can because it above all is about we the people and not any one specific individual you are loved and cared for especially on this particular site I’m sure I’m one of many that probably supports you and your endeavors stay strong young one life is just beginning to get interesting for you